Even though I've actually asked for something for my birthday this year, a heritage apple tree, an orange tree, a garden club membership, or Jackie French's Backyard Self-Sufficiency, my mum bought me two pairs of jeans.
I kept thinking about my orange tree. But after I'd tried on a couple pair of new jeans, I did start to see that my current worn, faded, dirt coloured, stained by wood stain and hems half detached from the legs pair of jeans, probably should only be used for planting trees.
My birthday's not for 2 months, but the sales are on now. My mum can't resist a good bargain.
Well, I'm in the choir. A very small attendance at church on Sunday. 4 people - including the priest. So we were all the choir. Turns out we don't know the songs as well as we thought we did! It doesn't help that we have no music and just because there's 3 Alleluias in the words, doesn't mean that it's not 6 or 7 Alleluias to sing.
Still, I'm quite proud of myself for actually opening my mouth, since I cried my little eyes out when I had to sing by myself in music in grade 5. My mother had said somewhere along the way that none of us could sing and I believed her. I've had an absolute phobia about singing in public ever since.
There's no time to get bored in a service when we're all relying on each other to sing every part.
My preferred gardening time seems to be about 4.30pm. Unfortunately it starts to get dark about 5pm. Today I was planting some dog deterring herbs along the footpath (after watching a dog _on a leash_ crapping in my front garden). Luckily the light of the street light was enough to get the job done.
It's going to look lovely when the plants have spread and flowered their little purple flower.
I've covered my celery with clear plastic and held it all down with old pavers, a dead tree fern and a concrete tortoise.
I've watered my brassilicas, the ones surviving the bug attack, peas, celery, silverbeet, camillias, rhododendrons, and anti dog herbs with seaweed extract.
I've dug in my wheat and mustard.
Now it's 6.30, dark, I stink like seaweed, and it's time for hot chip sandwiches for tea.
Good day. I love gardening. (Who would have thought?)
Yes, I'm currently edging into the lead in the race to eat my vegetables before the slugs/bugs do. I've dumped ash and charcoal all around the veges and I've laid sliced lemon all around them too. That seems to have allowed them time to grow some new leaves. I've been praying over them too, so maybe God's helping out.
I've taken some canes from pruning the pom pom tree and made a little dome with them over the celery. That's helped a bit too. Maybe it was possums eating my plants? I might tape some plastic to the canes and turn it into a green house.
We've planted a couple of different varieties of Banksia plants along the fence too. It does mean that when they grow there will be no more veges in that patch of sun, but it was time to block out the neighbour's ugly shed. It's just a bit too painful to be reminded every time we leave the front door that we used to chat through the fence (It's a 10 cm wire grid - very open) to our lovely old neighbours. Now, despite being in the exact same demographic as our new neighbours in almost every area, age, stage, religion, interests and job, there's no chatting through the fence any more. There isn't even any waving in the street. It's very sad. Should I care at all? Do I just feel rejected? Or maybe grieving loss of connection and community?
Well, I'm very glad that the weekend is here. Now I can sleep in, and get up and garden. If it's not too cold that is:-)
Long time no see. I've been busy, and I can't see that improving for the rest of the year. I've got too many projects on the go. New church, although into the second year now so apparently time to step it up, trying to start a new program at work, trying to get government to fund a new building for emergency relief, and study, and continue building relationships with my community. I"ve missed a few deadlines which is either a sign that I'm too busy, or a great procrastinator. Still need to write those articles...
I've started writing morning pages. It's from the book the Artist's Way. Every morning, write three pages about absolutely anything. Just write, "I don't know what to write, this is stupid" for three pages, if that's all you can manage. It's supposed to be about unblocking blocked artists. It certainly helps get a lot of stuff out of my head. But not to write those articles - I guess it takes more that just getting stuff out of your head. It possibly requires sitting down to actually do something.
My tooth is infected and as much as I hate taking antibiotics, I love antibiotics. They work.
I planted a vege garden yesterday. I used compost from my worm farm. This morning I found that every single leaf from my brussel sprout seedlings were gone. In just 18 hours. Maybe it was worms hiding in the compost. I always thought worms were my friends. Maybe I can grow veges inside. Hydroponically. Can you get organic hydroponics.
I've been out in my vege patch everynight picking slugs off my broccoli. And spraying the plants with a vinegar and water mixture to deter the things. Not working either. And I've got onions planted around them, and charcoal around them to deter snails. IT's NOT Working. How do I grow vegetables to feed my family? How does one become self sufficient for vegetables in the middle of winter?
So that's a little update on me. I may have sworn off the internet at some stage a while back (I've got an addictive personality) so updates may be few and far between, but I'm still catching up on your blogs. It's good to hear from you all.
I have just pulled out of the drawer, unwrapped and watched Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet! Ahhh. Ohhhh, Uhhhh. It's fantastic. (although not as good as I remember, and not as good as I remember the Zefferelli version, although I was in Year 9 when I saw that) I'm emotionally drained. Gotta watch it again. What a fantastic story.
It's been in the drawer for _years_. I've never wanted to watch it. I now feel alive enough to watch it. I'm not sure what will happen if I feel alive. I might become selfish, and do all kinds of things I want to do all for myself.
I might see the world, I might see the leaves, and feel the wind and hear the kookaburra's. I might be nice to my neighbours. If I was an artist I'd paint, or draw. Too bad I'm not. I might start writing again. I might ring my old friends and go out for lunch. I might have parties and talk to people and tell my stories. Does this make sense?
Does anyone know if my steamed chestnuts are supposed to have black patches? I've never even seen a chestnut before so I'm not sure. They all have black patches. Am I peeling old mouldy chestnuts, or is this the way they're supposed to be?
The same friend mentioned in the post below asked, "Why is it called Easter? Why isn't it called Resurrection Day?" I explained that it is actually called "Sacrificial Lamb Day" and tried to succinctly say why a sacrificial lamb is needed, but stuffed it up really. Sacrifice is a strange concept these days. What do we really sacrifice for? Nothing. WE get what we want now! (although not this guy who really does sacrifice a lot of his time to help the poor in society)
We did lots of gardening on the weekend. We have some lovely garden beds that display our weeds nicely! But now they are all weeded, and fertilised and mulched ready for whatever we want to plant in them.
There was no moisture in the soil and no worms, only spiders. And now it is raining and raining and raining.
We had our Easter service. The service starts with chanting. The image of the body of Jesus, a painted wooden icon cut out in the shape of Jesus body is lifted from the table in the middle of the church where is has been laying in a burial cloth and carried up onto the alter. The church is in total darkness when Jesus body is lifted up, then the priest brings a candle out and calls He is Risen! Then everyone lights their candle from this candle. It is amazing how much light one candle gives out in the total darkness.
After the service, which finished at 1am! the priest called out, "let the feast begin" and a little girl jumped and down and called out, "Yes!"
Despite birthday parties to attend we fitted in a breakfast feast of bacon and eggs and tomato and pancakes with maple syrup and chocolate and coffee and hot cross buns, and a dinner feast of roast lamb and veges and chocolate cake with double cream. There was still hot cross buns and Greek Easter bread (given to us by our God father) and Stollen (I know it's for Christmas but it tastes great!) but we couldn't fit it all in.
And like all good feasts, it continues for days with all the left overs providing special treats.
A friend told me he has observed that the Orthodox really know how to party. With all the senses, and great food, and Easter services that go on for a week. He has limited experience of church, but he says church celebrations are two days a year, talk, talk, talk and then go home. Of course no doubt other people have different experiences, but I found his observation interesting.
Every bite of chocolate was so delicious and it reminded me, with every bite, we are feasting because Jesus rose from the dead. He is alive.
Many Orthodox people call Easter "Pascha", which really annoys me, since we have a word for Easter in English, it's "Easter." Everyone knows what that means, more or less.
But anyway, it does kinda make sense, since the word Pascha comes from lamb, and Jesus represents a sacrificial lamb to take away sins. So in a sense people are calling Easter "Sacrificial lamb day". Whereas the word Easter comes from a fertility goddess Eostre or some thing like that.
So I can see it both ways. And maybe it helps people separate Western Easter for want of a better description, and Orthodox Easter which mostly occurs at a different time to everyone else in the Western world.
But that's not what I wanted to talk about.
Lent has been tough, and I think it seems that most of our church members to seem to have been down, and perhaps under spiritual attack. There seemed to be an undercurrent of annoyance with each other, and an inability to communicate. It's hard to be spiritual when you're getting annoyed at everything and everyone. And it's amazing how once you get annoyed at one little thing, you can focus on it and it grows into a big all consuming thing that fills all your head space, and no doubt moves into your heart space, where I think it is so much harder to root out then.
Even church on Sunday seemed quite difficult, and we (not the priest) did not seem to know what we were doing. Then after receiving the divine energy of God, ie communion, everything seemed to lift. Great times after that, good laughter, good talk, tiredness yes, but not overwhelming.
Fasting continues. How strange to be out of whack with the rest of the little Christian world that surrounds me. Everyone else who has heard of lent knows it finishes at Easter time, which was a few weeks ago, right?
Having celebrated Easter with all the hot cross buns and easter eggs and candles a few weeks back, it does seem strange to now be fasting looking forward to Easter. I'm sure once it gets to 10pm on Easter Saturday and we're in church in the dark with our candles, singing "Christ has risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and on those in the tombs bestowing life," then it will feel like Easter.
I am very tired almost all the time. Sometimes my head hurts.
We had house guests with small children. I made them salmon quiche one night. I was asked why I had made it when we were supposed to be fasting from eggs. I tried to explain that while fasting is important, there are more important things, like love, hospitality, helping the poor. The response was, "oh, so there's ways out of it."
It's a difficult path to negotiate, how to fast, how to accept the kind hospitality of others, how to look after guests, how to look after myself.
I almost gave up. I wondered if it was becoming too much as a struggle rather than a challenge. But I've kept at it.
I have found myself praying a lot more, spontaneously, almost subconsciously conversing with God. I don't even realise I'm praying until I somehow tune in half way through my own conversation with God, or more likely petitions with God. I'm happy with that at this stage. It's more than I've been doing for a while.
We visited a Coptic church on Sunday. It was nice. It was friendly, and they serve breakfast after the service!
They seem to be quite mission focused, the church paying for people to go overseas on mission trips, and plans afoot to set up some kind of kitchen for people living on the street. God please help them.
So not much is happening at the moment. I'm doing some admin work to try and get some grants for a local charity and taking multiple phone calls _per day_ about it. I was part of a six week choir which was immense fun to be part of something that sounded so good. Unfortunately now I can hear how crappy I sound myself.
I've started chucking out stuff from the house because I'm drowning in it all. I'm trying to get it all done in my holidays, so I'm rushing round like a mad thing, throwing things out of cupboards and onto the floor. I'm still ignoring the study which is actually supposed to be a guest room. Unfortunately I have guests coming to stay on Monday. They might have to sleep in the lounge room.
I have work stuff to do, and I'm listening to my little nephew take over the game of his big brother. Poor big brother.
Big brother has now abandoned game.
Fasting is not going so well with people making me meals with chicken all the time.
Trying to fit in all the visits to those people who expect them.
And I'm just kinda sitting around.
I've been off camping again, walked 10 k's, got really hot and dirty, came home and got really clean. Having eaten only two of my four easter eggs we have finally started our Orthodox lent fast. No animals products until Orthodox Easter somewhere at the end of April. If only they were dark chocolate easter eggs! Just joking. I can really see the wisdom of the rhythm of the church year. First comes Meatfare Sunday, the last Sunday to eat meat, special meals are had, then comes forgiveness Sunday, which is the last Sunday to eat cheese until Easter. The story of the prodigal son is told somewhere in there, - they're all signs pointing toward and preparing for lent.
I however ignored all that, carried on as usual, celebrated Easter with everyone else, eating hot cross buns and chocolate eggs, until the day I decide to start fasting it's all an anti-climax where I just cook fried rice for dinner.
I guess I'm the worker who came to the vineyard at lunch time.
Are there any who are devout lovers of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Are there any who are grateful servants?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!
Are there any weary from fasting?
Let them now receive their due!
If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their reward.
If any have come after the third hour,
let them with gratitude join in the feast!
Those who arrived after the sixth hour,
let them not doubt; for they shall not be short-changed.
Those who have tarried until the ninth hour,
let them not hesitate; but let them come too.
And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.
For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,
even as to those who toiled from the beginning.
To one and all the Lord gives generously.
The Lord accepts the offering of every work.
The Lord honours every deed and commends their intention.
Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike, receive your reward.
Rich and poor, rejoice together!
Conscientious and lazy, celebrate the day!
You who have kept the fast, and you who have not,
rejoice, this day, for the table is bountifully spread!
Feast royally, for the calf is fatted.
Let no one go away hungry.
Partake, all, of the banquet of faith.
Enjoy the bounty of the Lord's goodness!
Despite having a pretty good day, Ive had a pretty crap day. One where I just want to run away and live in the desert and never speak to anyone again. I say stupid irrelevant things. I am walking around alternating between swearing and calling myself stupid.
rushing off to work out how to ask council to give us (relief services) their land. eating soup out of the saucepan as I type. crazy day. free time between 4 & 4.30pm can't wait. must be off
I got a new guinea pig tonight. I put it in the cage at 5pm. When I checked it at 6pm it had lost all ability to move, and by 7pm it had died. Shortest time I've ever owned a guinea pig.
Camping was good. Not much rain, and I slept really well. It is so good to sleep well, all warm and comfy. We had a liturgy at the bottom of the mountain that we had almost climbed the day before - we never made it to the top. Obviously if you can get half way up in two hours it's not Mt Everest. We made damper and cooked it in the fire, then shared it after the service. We had to chip off the burnt bits, but it still tasted fantastic.
Here's a little update on the new years resolutions
Grow vegetables from seed sucessfully - Veges gone to seed. I think by now they've probably self sown.
Learn to play guitar - still have to fix guitar
Not use my credit card at all ever (but I've run out of vegetables, washing powder, dishwashing powder and money) - up buckleys creek
Clean out all the cupboards - done one
Compost - nope
Buy a plant every pay to revegetate my backyard (and get the neighbours to do the same) - no pay days yet
Explore new/semi monasticism/religious community a bit more - nope, although we went camping for two days, does that count?
End world hunger (or maybe just in my street) - nope
Contribute to a solution to homelessness in our area. - strangely, I have had most success at heading towards this little goal I threw in at the end by tagging along with someone who putting forward proposals to council on developing housing organizations to build units on council property.
There's two of us chowing down on Hokkien noodles that's supposed to feed 3-4 people. Yuuuummmmm.
Spent last weekend in Tasmania (sorry miss lisa, I didn't think of you until I'd hoped off the plane.) and can I say that every single thing I ate in Tasmania was fantastic. Eating out has to be one of my favourite things.
This weekend heading off for a church camp. Unfortunately it's cold and raining (unfortunate for camping anyway). And it's a walk in camp site. So I have to lug my stuff through the bush to get to the camp site. Admittedly it's only 50 metres but there's a lot of stuff. Like my pillow. I couldn't possibly go without my pillow.
You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry, however you feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important, however you feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.
I read a raaaaaather long testimony about a man's coming to Orthodoxy, with his wife eventually joining him. It was quite a stressful situation for him to want to be in the Orthodox church, while his wife did not. He had gone to a monastery and while there, borrowed a book of prayers to Mary.
By prayer it means asking for Mary to pray for you, in the way you'd ask a friend to pray for you. In Orthodoxy the veil between life and death is quite thin. If we believe in eternal life, then we know the saints who have died are alive on the other side of death. They have new life. They are alive and cheering us on to finish our race.
It was the first time he'd asked for Mary's prayers before, but it felt right to be asking a woman to understand his wife's difficulties and to pray for her.
When he returned from his time away, his wife did agree for the first time to attend church with him for Mother's day. It was a few more years before she joined the Orthodox church.
I remembered this story when I was recently quite worried about my mother's reaction to my choices. I'd spent a day and a half praying about it, with absolutely no peace. I couldn't work out what the right course of action was. I couldn't work out what I was supposed to pray. I couldn't work out where I was wrong, what I needed to change or confess, or say. I felt guilty and dishonest, and I was trying to work out ways to fudge the truth so she wouldn't react badly to me.
Remembering this man's testimony, I decided to ask for Mary's prayers. She was a mother. She would understand surely. I don't know what I said, probably looked down at the ground and mubbled half sentences like, "Help! What am I going to do?" while refusing to make eye contact or say her name, all the time wondering what I was doing.
I felt so much better then. I felt like she was saying, "don't worry, it will be fine. Everything will be worked out." It felt good and right to talk to a woman about a woman, a mother about a mother. I relaxed, stopped worrying, and everything was fine with my mum.
I've spent years being told, believing and probably telling others that people worship Mary, that I don't need to pray to Mary 'cos I can go straight to the boss, and generally considering the woman God chose to raise Jesus to be nothing more than a young girl who happened to have a miraculous pregnancy. At very least, it's quite rude to Jesus to treat his mother that way.
"oooooh, washing powder is on special. It's $7.95. It's $5.95 off. I saw it in the Coles catalouge."
"that's good."
"it's really cheap if you want to get some"
"o.k. I'll remember that."
"It's got No Phosphorous, thats the one you use isn't it."
"Yes, sometimes."
"Look here's a Coles, do you want to get some?"
"I"m afraid I haven't got $7.95"
"I'll get it for you."
Good ole mums.
So now I have washing powder.
And I found enough veges around the place to spread out between meals for a few more days. 1 week until pay day.
I want to do it, but I just don't want to do it. When I'm lying in bed and need to get up, I don't. I close my eyes and sleep for another 10 minutes. And then there's no time for prayer.
Maybe if I went to bed at 9.30pm, and spent the time until 10pm praying and reading the bible that would work.
I'll give that one a try.
I'm glad we've had this chat. It helped me work out a few things.
I dived, (well more like ran) into the lake today to rescue a little boy who had gone out one step too far. All's well. My new hat however is soaking wet and shrinking as we speak. No hat is ever good after it's gone into the water. I've had the same hat for about 12 years. It's latest repairs have made it too small for my head, and so the new hat. Which will be too small for my head.
Had a chat to the neighbour about the mission-y type clubs they have at their church. It all sounds really good. So I think my little church should perhaps head into a different area of missiony type stuff, since they've got those things covered.
Maybe we could be foster carers, or build a unit for crisis accommodation...?
Unordered 
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