Sermon preached at Pilsdon at Malling 22nd July, date of placement end. There were 8 present in total.
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My topic is St Mary Magdalene, my text is "Woman, why are you weeping?".
In the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.
The saint we are venerating today is one of the most hotly debated of all Jesus' followers. She is known by many titles: Apostle to the Apostles, Equal of the Apostles, Myrrhbearer, Peccatrix (meaning sinful woman) and Penitent. She is or has been the patron saint of
apothecaries, hairdressers; penitent sinners; perfumeries; women in general and, most importantly, reformed prostitutes. Colleges in both Oxford and Cambridge are named after her, and she has captured the imaginations of hundreds of Artists, often looking sensual in paintings holding a jar of ointment or sporting long red hair to symbolise her sexual waywardness. The popular book and film "The Da Vinci Code" has put Mary Magdalene in the media spotlight recently, suggesting she married Jesus and bore his children, and for a while she was a household name.
However much of what is assosicated with Mary is innacurate, as this image of Mary Magdalene as a reformed prostitute is a confusion of our Biblical texts. In the 14 mentions of Mary in the gospels not once is she ever described as having been a prostitute or a sinner - in fact the gospel writers record her actions in an entirely positive light; she followed and provided for Jesus materially, she was present at the crucifixion, she went with him to the tomb, she endeavoured to anoint him on Easter Sunday and was therefore the first to witness his resurrection. And yet for many centuries the Church has been actively portraying her as a prostitute, albeit reformed. Why the confusion? Why the case of mistaken identity?
Pope Gregory 1 of the 6th century seems the main suspect, decreeing as he did that Mary Magdalene and Mary of Bethany (who is described in the gospels as being sexually immoral) are one and the same. There are three possible theories for why this tradition came into being. The first being genuine confusion, there are a number of women in the gospels called Mary, and it would be easy to conflate them. The second theory is that this was an attack on the Gnostic heretics, which claimed to have secret teachings of Jesus given only to Mary Magdalene. Or the more popular theory, that Mary Magdalene actually played a much bigger part in the leadership and ministry of the Early Church than was comfortable for a male led institution, and the Church made a concious effort to downgrade her from an apostle to a prostitute.
What happened to Mary Magdalene after the resurrection we don't know for sure, and there are several different stories about where she ended her life. From the gospels we know that Jesus relied on the support of a few women for his ministry, and would teach women alongside men, in a culture where this was not the done thing. In the realm of theological education and formation, where I currently stand, we are not trained simply for trainings sake, we are trained and formed for service and leadership. In the same way as the male disciples were undergoing a similar formation under Jesus guidance and went on to become martyrs and Bishops it seems fair to say that the women with Jesus were also being trained. I had the pleasure of reading a sermon on Mary Magdalene by Charles Spurgeon, the famous nineteenth century Baptist preacher, and he gives Mary Magdalene the title "Doctor of Divinity indeed", because she is sent by Jesus to tell the other disciples of the the coming ascension. He also dubs her "One of the most favored beholders of Christ", and Spurgeon makes the case for Mary being so close to Jesus in her love and relationship with him that she is asked by Jesus not to touch him, wheras doubting Thomas is treated quite the opposite.
So what significance does Mary Magdalene hold for us today? Well the confusing history of her veneration holds an important message for contemporary church politics and personal prejudices. I can remember when watching celebrities or actors on TV with my mother she was nearly always able to tell me something about the individual's past which painted them in a bad light. Even the stars of the Good Life allegedly had an affair! It is all too easy to fall in with the popular motto "A leopard never changes its spots", and there are many examples of this in the Church today. Who are our Mary Magdalenes, those people groups we like to patronise or do down in the eyes of others? Be it evangelicals, gays, black churches, celibates, convicts, drug users or the royal family, we have a duty to impartially show love and dignity to all, and to assess their vocation in the Church and society in the light of Christ's redemption. A part of me says what does it matter if we were to believe that Mary Magdalene as a reformed prostitute, why should that change how we view her vocation and ministry? If anything we could rejoice all the more.
Woman, why are you weeping? Jesus finds Mary in a state of grief and mourning, brought on by the supposed theft of his body. Through her tears and confusion she does not recognise her Lord initially, supposing him to be the gardener, even hearing his voice. Perhaps she has been mistakenly seeing Jesus a lot since his death, as often recently bereaved people do, and didn't trust her senses. The word which brings about her recognition or belief is simple, "Mary!" One thing I love is to hear my name spoken by someone who loves me. It is often unique, and different people say it differently. I saw my old school friend Paul yesterday and it was very odd to be called by my old school nickname "Gummi", said in a way I had almost forgotten. The friends I'v made here in Pilsdon all have their own way of saying Tiffer, or even Tiffy, and the recognition of who is calling me is instant. Mary hears her name, and the love and peace behind that voice turn her tears of grief into tears of joy.
Jesus' question isn't a criticism but a qualification. Weep, but weep in the knowledge that freedom is coming. There is still an important place for mourning in this life, and many many tears, we still live in a broken world until Jesus comes again to rule. But our Good friday tears should be wept in the context of Easter morning joy, just as Jesus wept knowing he would be raised again. As Christians we are called to help those who despair and walk alongside those who are oppressed. By our very actions we should ask the question Jesus asked "World, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek?"
4 days to go. I am not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I am pining for home and to be with Amy again, and starting to find the regularity of the days here quite tiring - this seems to be a pattern with me; I go to a new place, find the routine stimulating for a couple of weeks, and then have a period of restlessness while I become accustomed to the new way of life. Usually the routine becomes second nature after this, and the Stability that comes with it hugely benefits life and balance. On the other hand it will be sad to leave all the friends I have made here and the familiarity of the place which has been builtup over the last month. One thing I don't want to leave are the vines, which I have spent the last fortnight de tangling and training in the greenhouse; I wish I could be here when the grapes are ripe and then later when they are pruned, but I shall probably just have to put that in the "Things to do when I get ordained" list, because there is no point starting vines in temporary accommodation with no greenhouse!
I had a long meeting with the Guardian today, which was very stimulating and helpful and tied up a lot of the loose ends I have been thinking about. I asked him two main questions; Are the Christian values of Pilsdon compatible with different Christian traditions, namely Open Evangelicalism? And, other than what goes on in the Chapel and Graces before meals would Pilsdon be noticeably different if it were a secular community? I hope he doesn't mind if I try and summarise his answers here.
I think the short answer to the first was yes, but with certain disclaimers. The main issue being inclusivity - would the community continue to accept and respect the dignity of guests of different faiths or different sexual orientations if the guardian and/or members were of a more Evangelical bias, rather than the more Liberal-Catholic tradition of the current community. I personally think yes, although I do understand the worry. Interestingly it was one of the aspects of Pilsdon that Amy found difficult, the style of churchmanship, as she worried that as someone with different values she would struggle to be involved in such a community. I was the opposite - I had assumed Pilsdon was evangelical, and was pleasantly surprised to find out it was not. I personally feel that hospitality, unconditional love and care and serving the poor are non negotiables for all Christians, and therefore differences in views on Christian behaviour or worship styles are to me less important.
In answer to the second question the main differences might be: Risk taking - a secular community would probably take fewer financial and personal risks than Pilsdon, which believes in trust and second chances. Sacrificial living - the level of commitment required of the members is hard to parallel in the secular world, where else do you find people on call 6 days a week 24 hours a day who live where they work with no salary for many years? Community Building - Although guests come and go Pilsdon sees living in community as an end in itself, rather than the means to an end.
I hope this is a fair summary of our discussion - I haven't commented on it at length because for the meantime I just wanted to get it down on paper while fresh in my mind, although more is to follow when I prepare my placement presentation. Any comments would be helpful.
We also discussed some more personal issues, and I was grateful for the chance to chat about some of the things that my stay here has brought to the surface. One of the things that comforts and disturbs me about being in a community like this is the knowledge that a few people are aware of all you do, and talk about you amongst themselves (appropriately of course). It comforts me because I know I can be myself - as it is hard to be anything else, and so when I receive affirmation I know it is me who is being commended, not just an impression of me people might have. It is disturbing for much the same reason, if you do find criticism difficult (and often I do) knowing that people have seen you at your worst can be uncomfortable. Tonight I nearly botched the evening meal, even with ample help and lots of guidance, and basically had to be rescued! I know that the way I handled my failure in the kitchen and the manner in which I reacted to it afterwards will have been noted by a couple of people and will go towards their image of me, be it positive or negative. The challenge then is to trust that those who know you will not judge you, which is a big no no in Pilsdon.
4 days to go. A sermon and a short piece on our Multi faith pilgrims the other week to finish. Perhaps as I am just about starting to get Pilsdon, Pilsdon is just about getting to grips with me!
It's been a tough week, both personally and for the community. One of the downsides of doing my journal on a public blog is that there is a limit to the amount of information I can relay, and as most of what I would have wanted to write about this week has been in this category I haven't blogged much. One of the members here (who has been a member of Pilsdon communities for 13 years or so) told me that at Pilsdon there are high times and low times, and not much time in between, and that has certainly proved true. It is probably fair to say that last week there were a few general disturbances, a couple of fairly public arguments and some general ill feeling, which in turn made minor grievances between individuals blow up and patiences ran thin. I have to admit I was part of this as well, and although I was careful in how I talked with others I was surprised at how angry some people were making me even when it wasn't me they were being unjust towards. From the guests there was a lot of talk about the issues, and some members as well (perhaps in a more gracious and productive way), which although can be harmful is probably better than the stony silence alternative. As any parish priest will tell you this goes on in any sort of community whether a monastery or a Mothers' Union, and at a church I once worked in I saw part of my job as dispelling any myths or speculations the parishioners had picked up, or nipping gossip about the leadership in the bud. Yet I sometimes heard in the gossip and the complaining a genuine desire to be heard in a church where there seemed no appropriate forum for this. I think the same would be true here, and I didn't have the answer then and neither do I have one now.
One of the main grievances which comes up time and time again is that of the difference between member and guest. I may have explained it before, and if you are still unsure after I have attempted to clarify then you can have a look at the Pilsdon website. Both of the Pilsdon communities are overseen by a Guardian, who is an Anglican priest. Then there are the members, who are Christians of all shapes and sizes, made up of singles, marrieds or families, who are willing to make a time commitment to Pilsdon. They aren't paid but all reasonable living expenses are supplied, including some pocket money. Sometimes volunteers come for around 6 months with around the same conditions. Then there are guests, who can be of any race, creed or gender (orientation etc.), and they are expected to pay for living at Pilsdon, although most are on benefits which more than covers what is required. There are a few criteria for guests, which you can find on the website, but generally all who would benefit from living here for a time go on the waiting list. Then there are wayfarers, who are either homeless and/or travelling people who need a bed for the night, and provided they are sober they can stay for a night or sometimes longer. Visitors like myself come for a shorter time and usually pay a previously arranged amount.
As I see it, there are two main ways that people see Pilsdon. One is as a community of professing Christians (Guardian+Members), who have decided to live together for a given period of time, and this community invites guests and visitors and volunteers to share in their life together. Another is to see it as sheltered accommodation for vulnerable adults which employs staff to organise and manage the premises. I can say with quite a high degree of certainty that the latter is not correct, and yet it is the view held by a large proportion of the guests here, many of whom have spent time in prisons and rehab centres and see Pilsdon as similar (although much better of course, a Benevolent Autocracy as one guest described it). The former description of Pilsdon isn't perfect either, as one of the main aims of the community is the support of guests, and without any guests Pilsdon would struggle to continue as it is now. Once again I don't think I have the answer to this yet, but I am glad that in my final week the big questions are starting to become clearer, and I hope I will have the opportunities to ask them before I leave. It is helpful having a few members here who are relatively new to Pilsdon, as they are working out some of the same questions themselves, notably the place of faith in Pilsdon, and it is good to have the perspective of those who are to be here longer than a month - one criticism I have heard here of Tobias Jones' chapter about Pilsdon in Dorset in "Utopian Dreams" was that his family was only at Pilsdon for a couple of months, which is too short a time to judge the place fairly (although he did say it was the closest to his utopia of all the communities he had visited), and I am wary of making the same mistake.
The atmosphere here seems to be lifting and although some people are struggling with personal issues generally everyone seems calmer. I am pleased to see that my theory of stability in community is not far off the truth, and that the daily routine of meal times, work and prayer (optional) keep the place ticking over through sun and rain. Pilsdon in Dorset has been going for over 40 years, and the Sisters have been at the Abbey for over 90, through many crises and problems I am sure, so they must be doing something right. Community, particularly Benedictine, has a robust quality which is brought about by Stability, and helps us to see how life's tidal waves can be made manageable. The Taize community, started as it was in the middle of occupied France in the 1940 is an example of this, first offering shelter to Jews running from the Nazis, then to the Nazis running from the Allies. It was able to be a shelter in a time of storm, and it is my prayer that I might be able to achieve this same stability for my own life and ministry.
My Xda now being completely fixed is a very good first step :)
This is the homily I preached at the midday Eucharist today. It's only meant to be a few minutes long.
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"Listen my son to the instructions of your Master, turn the ear of your heart to the advice of a loving father; accept it willingly and carry it out vigorously; so that through the toil of obedience you may return to him from whom you have separated by the sloth of disobedience."
This is the opening paragraph of the Rule of St Benedict, a writing which has had more impact on the Church and Western civilisation than we will ever know. Some have said that it introduced or developed a number of concepts of secular government, the most important being a kind of democracy, but also such entities as written constitutions and authority limited by law. As we all know it is a rule still used by thousands of Benedictine communities around the world, including the Sisters here at West Malling, and for this book to be still be being used today, 1500 years after it was written, it must have something of an edge. And yet when we read it or have it read to us, we hear little but down to earth, honest common sense. This is no grand legal document, no spiritual manifesto, and yet this rule is still "in fashion"; while the rest of the Church has been battling away with reformations, counter reformations, persecution and triumphalism, this little book of humble advice has remained.
One of the problems with trying to get to grips with the personality and life of a Saint such as Benedict is the tendency of hagiographers to unapologetically embellish the facts, in order to paint a Saint in a particularly good light, however we do know that Benedict was educated in Rome, and left in his early 20s to pursue a holy life as an anchorite, living alone in the wild. This was not uncommon - ever since the Roman emperor had converted to Christianity in the 4th century living in the wilderness was the new martyrdom, and it was seen as the height of Christian discipleship. Monasteries developed as a result of this, although to begin with they were simply meeting places for the hermits who lived nearby, but gradually houses were set up and those within them lived by rules, but those monks who lived in them were generally seen as the weaker brethren, and the hope was that one day they would go out to live the solitary life when they were stronger. Paradoxically Benedict seems to imply this is still his ideal, when he sets out his list of the four types of monk, one which mirrors St Basil the Great who lived a short time before him. Basil however felt community living was by far superior to the solitary life, and himself wrote a rule which is still used in some communities today, and which Benedict pays homage to in his epilogue.
So what made Benedict special? Why did his rule go on to govern the lives of the religious for centuries after his death? Well we know that he himself lived a solitary religious life to begin with, and ended up the abbot of a number of communities, and initially made mistakes, which he must have learnt from. Benedict was a pioneer of religious living, and he took seriously the work and experience of many who had gone before him - with him the evolution of community had reached a stable end result, and stability it was that he considered essential for not those in a community but for all Christians. I would argue that a lack of stability is one of the most serious problems for anyone trying to live as a disciple of Christ today, and even as an ordinand my attempts to order my life, say the daily offices and keep a healthy balance of work and rest are often thwarted by both my own lack of willpower and the expectations of the world around me - and without stability I am hugely limited in how much I can serve God and the Church. It could be said that Pilsdon is an experimental community, that the members and guests and trustees are all pioneers, trying to establish stability in their lives and the lives of those they serve, a pioneering community which stands in the tradition of Benedict and all those before and after him who have aspired to achieve a balanced life.
Much of what we know about Benedict is from his rule, and we know that he was humble. It is not written in the style of many other famous monks around his time, it is written in the style of a loving father. Perhaps it is this love and humility which makes this simple rule stand out amongst the world. But he was also deeply devoted to God, and asks us to be the same, asking Jesus to bring any work we begin to completion, and welcoming the stranger as if they were our saviour himself. As we come forward to receive communion today, let us meditate on the values with Benedict set in place in a time of great turmoil in the region he lived, and in our own turmoils, both private and public, allow ourselves to be conformed to God's will, and to live as disciples of Christ.
I haven't blogged for a week! How terrible. Well all technology is pretty much up and
running again, so no more excuses. We live in an interesting day and age when I send the items my wife leaves behind on to her via email!
This week has been incredibly long - I drove half way across the country visiting Amy,then 2 Bishops, 2 Archdeacons, A Vocations advisor and a DDO. Oh and Pizza with a Precentor. I was incredibly glad to get back to Pilsdon, although it took me about a day to recover.
This past weekend Amy came down to Pilsdon, which was incredibly busy with a concert for 150 in the chapel on Saturday night and a Eucharist on Sunday evening for welcoming new members with around 40 for a BBQ (which I was supposedly in charge of). Amy left with mixed feelings about the community, which I think was quite different from what she had expected, and she raised a lot of important questions about Pildson, in particular the theology and
methodology behind it. The highlight of her visit for me was the difference in a lot of the guests when she was around. Once again people didn't change, they just all warmed to the presence of a pretty and acute young lady. The uncouth became gentlemanly, and would address her with almost Victorian titles such as "Your good lady wife" and "madame". People would give up their seat and draw her pictures, and when she wasn't around one person said enthusiastically "Your wife's lovely!" and another "You've got a beautiful wife Tiff". People would start talking about their ex wives for seemingly no reason. Of course I agree my wife is all sweetness and light, but rarely do people I have known only a fortnight tell me quite so frankly! I think perhaps people usually feel it might be a bit rude or presumptuous to compliment you on your other half, or are scared of implying a wife is her husband's possession. Guests here often talk about how nice it is when there are kids staying in the community, and stories of a two year old who recently stayed with her family are often recalled with affection.
I am half way through and I suppose the problems and limitations of this kind of community are becoming apparent, although I still stick by my first impressions - people here do talk of a honeymoon period, and I don't doubt it. Predictably some of the hardest things for me to deal with since being here have been personal; since being here I have so enjoyed just chatting with the guests, puffing my pipe and drinking earl grey in between the odd bit of viticulture, but it's hard to reconcile that with the squeaky clean chubby ordinand who cassocks up on a Sunday to preach obtuse sermons to a room of respectable people. Even getting up from chatting in the cloisters to go to the evening office in the chapel seems like a paradigm shift sometimes, and I find myself wishing I were dressed slightly smarter, or hoping I'm not asked to read in my polished public school voice when my hair's a mess. No one has said anything to make me feel uneasy, quite the opposite, but living in community, even for a short while, tends to bring out issues which otherwise wouldn't surface, and although this isn't a new issue for me it is certainly more obvious in a place like Pilsdon. I suppose my professional question would be: when an issue is identified, what role does the community take in helping to resolve it. To be continued...
I have had a catastrophe -my beloved xda orbit is temporarily offline. Happily it is insured , but i'm hoping to fix it myself in the meantime. Amy has visited for the weekend and managed to get through London despite the Tour de France, and i will try and do a proper journal entry tomorrow !
The scary man above is none other than my brother Alex, who is in fact a very nice chap, and not scary at all. He came for lunch and the afternoon yesterday, and seemed to really like the place, he even entertained staying the night. We wondered over to the Abbey in the afternoon as well, where he too had been on a school trip as part of confirmation classes - although that was over 6 years earlier than me so he didn't remember it much. In the evening we picked up my sister and brother in law in Shortlands and went for a Thai meal in Blackheath with mum, where we had a good chuckle at some of the rude names the meals have. I went for the Neau phat khing in the end, largely out of embarrassment (the alternative dish I was thinking of was very rude indeed and I couldn't have asked for it with a straight face). As the designated driver and not being able to drink while staying at Pilsdon I was teetotal, although I wouldn't recommend Red Bull before driving!
This morning I made my way to Aylesford parish church, St Peter and St Paul, as that is where Peter the guardian of Pilsdon was preaching and presiding during their interregnum. Apparently they had not realised it was their patronal festival, and Peter had made sure they remembered! It was actually a preaching style I hardly recognised; the preacher told the church of the importance of a patronal festival, the importance of this weekend and in particular the vocations aspect, asked the church during the sermon about their ordinands and how many in the congregation had been to an ordination service, and explained the importance and systems of vocations to lay and ordained ministry. I was incredibly pleased that vocations to Religious Orders was mentioned - it is incredibly rare in my experience to hear this from the pulpit. Monastic communities in the CofE are often ignored or patronised, as if they are all very well and good but no one seriously thinks about actually joining them, where in fact I believe they are fundamental to the Church and we should all pay much more attention to them.
As you may have guessed I greatly enjoyed the sermon, and I found myself strangely warmed by the church as well; the people loved each other, and were incredibly kind and welcoming. I was very touched by my kneeler (the kind which actually make kneeling easier, or in my case possible), the label on the back to be precise. It was a standard label with the words "For the love of God" badly written in biro at the top, and in the box preceded by "In memory of" the same biro had written "so many things". The label was signed just "S-much love".
Roast lamb for lunch and a simple but moving Eucharist at Pilsdon at 6, with a slightly edited sermon from this morning's. It was just 6 of us and Chloe the dog, and the unpretentious informal catholic style which seems to suit this community very well.
Today the warden and his wife had their day off, and the difference in the community was astounding. It was like everything was on hold; everyone was very relaxed, some didn't do their chores and meal times were much quieter. Of course the uexpected tremendous downpours which went on throughout the day didn't help this, but it was very interesting anyway. Not that everything didn't still tick over just as it should, and the food today was lovely - simple poor mans pasta at lunch and home made quiche for supper - I almost feel guilty for supporting the "Ban the Flan" campaign.
The only event which really happeend today was the Eucharist at the Abbey, which was surprisingly well attended, with probably around 12 guests (the most I have ever seen there has been around 5). Despite the rather unique liturgy, I quite like the service, it is simple and yet powerful, unpretentious and yet significant. As I said yesterday, there is no confession or absolution, which comes from a very early liturgical tradition. This is designed I think to reflect God's grace towards his chosen - taking the emphasis from our efforts to be right with God to the status we already have in Him. During the Eucharistic prayer everyone stands in a circle around the altar, the guests stepping forward from the guest chapel, and the Sisters coming forward from their stalls in the Nave. It is the only time in the day that the guests and Sisters all meet together, indeed it is unusual to meet more than one or two Sisters in a day when staying in the guest house usually. The Eucharistic prayer has no invocation, and after everyone has received and returned to their seats there is simply a short chant as a thanksgiving prayer, and no blessing. It is slightly bizarre to me that no one crosses themselves throughout the Eucharist, when here at Pilsdon most of the chapel-goers cross themselves at every oppurtunity, but I suppose that reflects the simpliity which the Sisters value so much. It was lovely to see Mother Mary yesterday as she came to visit someone at Pisdon; she had been the guest sister for the week that I visited in September while the regular guest Sister was taking a break, and she seemed genuinely susprised to see me (I have not written since my stay which I feel incredibly guilty about) and asked how my first year at Ridley had gone. Although it isn't the most difficult thing to remember I was still very touched that she had remembered, it somehow made my last visit more significant - when one goes somewhere by oneself it is easy to imagine it never happened, especially when one is as rubbish as I am with keeping in touch!
Which reminds me, the other day I saw someone running through the orchards by the garden of St Francis. On closer inspection it was a nun, in a blueish habit (they tend to wear black and white habits). I later learned that this was how one of the nuns take her exercise, and not the youngest one either - which doing the maths makes this lady at least 55! How many 55 year olds do you know who run up and down their gardens for exercise...
All the Fat belongs to the Lord... 
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