So its nearly October already, with the usual talk of summer having gone too fast, nights drawing in, and "how many days till Christmas?" I saw crackers in a supermarket this weekend. Sigh.
But the end of September this year is another milestone- the end of the bat survey season! The big cheeses in the environmental world have to assign an arbitrary end point to the warmer summer months and the start of cooler weather and lower bat activity, and that end point is today. So with the beginning of October, the bats are out less and less, and, thankfully, so are we ecologists. As much as the bat watching is interesting, I won't be sorry to not have to set my alarm for 3.30am any more!!
The other thing that this next month will bring will be the start of my local preaching in my new home town. At the beginning of September I went to my first preachers meeting here, and apart from lowering the average age by a good 20 or 30 years, it still felt good to be involved, and getting back into the things I used to do before I moved made me feel like I'm still me, even if I am somewhere else! So I now have 3 dates between now and Christmas, and even some ideas for them!Having spent a good while trying to get this sorted, it all seemed to fall into place in no time at all. The whole thing still makes me more than a little nervous, but also quite excited at the thought of being able to get stuck in again, which I'm taking to be a good combination.
Today is one of those perfect days, weather-wise, for this time of year. A kind of summer-autumn hybrid where the weather doesn’t quite seem to have made up its mind. And yet today its still unmistakeably Autumn.
I walked out of the door this morning, and, for the first time this year, I could see my breath on the air. The car windows were still wet in the weak morning sun. As I drove to work, leaving the edge of the town centre for the fields and farmland the sun was trying its best to shine through the haze, but not quite managing it. Where the road drops into the river valley the mist came up around me, clinging determinedly to the ground, and then as I rose again was left behind, revealing an almost frosty landscape shimmering in the morning sun.
Its warmer now, the sun has gathered its strength, and won the battle with the early morning clouds. But there’s still that slight edge to the warmth, the chill which cooled my breath this morning, and will freeze the dew drops tonight. That crispness that catches my breath, that waves goodbye to summer, and brings with it the promise of winter!
This kind of weather dares you not to feel down, challenges you to look on the positive side. Worries unfortunately do not disappear as easily as the morning mist, but you can still enjoy the sun meanwhile. Pleasure in the simple things.
And with that, since its lunchtime, I’m going outside with my book to enjoy the sun.
Wow, blogging two days in a row.. its almost like I've got free time or something. So, other things which happened this week, not course-related.
On Tuesday I went to my first Local Preachers meeting here. Scary or what? No idea what to expect, I've met the Super once (when he didn't know I was me, if that makes sense!), and spoken the secretary on the phone. The minutes had a slot specifically devoted to discussing what to do with me (I paraphrase here). Interesting. The other thing which bugged me a little was the secretary insisting on using titles at all times in the agenda, therefore labelling me as Miss on at least 3 occasions. Those who know me know this isn't smart. A little annoying, given a) he had no idea whether I was married or single, if in doubt surely even the most trad would stick with Ms? b) Miss always conjours up images of an 8 year old in a frilly dress. That or happy families. And needless to say I'm neither. Maybe thats just me. Hmm.
Anyway, the meeting went well in the end. A friendly, if not large group, of which I managed to lower the average age quite significantly! It was agreed that I could basically take on some dates planned for other preachers, and that they could then come along and observe/help out etc but basically get a day off. I think this idea went down well. There were suggestions of forming a queue. All in all, quite a positive result. Now I just have to remember this whole sermon-writing thing. Gulp.
The other thing that happened this week is I went to my GP yesterday to ask about vaccinations. I've not mentioned this here yet, but for Christmas this year we're going to Africa! Chris' parents are off on what can best be described as a gap year, travelling and volunteering in various African countries for 8 or 9 months, and are having us all (him and brothers, and me!) over to Kenya for Christmas. Like you do. So, my first Christmas away from home, not just another city, a whole different continent. Never do things by halves eh? But its all very exiting, so many new experiences all at once, but we're doing it together, so whatever happens it'll be good. So anyway, I thought I should get some idea of how many times they'll want to stab me with needles before I go. It turns out not much, 3 in fact, two of which were free and could be given straight away. So in less than half an hour I was in, punctured in each arm, and out again. One more but thats lots closer to when we go, and thats it. The last time I had injections was probably school. I'd forgotten how much the upper arm hurts afterwards, the muscles just don't like being used right now! Or lay on.
So there, it feels like its been a rather full week. And today I'm off to sunny south Wales for the proms in the park, so if you're around there I might see you. Just don't be offended if you hug me and I yelp!
So this week I had a course from work. It was kinda full on, including the weekend and evenings, and one all nighter with the bats (that I thought I'd got away from), but I learnt lots of new stuff, I got to go up into the hills and explore the heather moorland (this is fun in the books of a geeky botanist),
This week reminded me of the reasons I want to do this, and the fact that this is still what I want to spend my time doing, what I want to aim for. To play an active role in the way we look after the habitats and species around us, to be involved in the decisions which are made about how these declining habitats are managed, to know each day that I believe in what I'm doing. And at the same time, to be able to spend my days mucking about on hillsides recording plants. Yes, I already mentioned the geek thing.
The other thing about this week was that I met new people. It sounds a bit exaggerated to say I made friends with them, since it was only a week and I may very well never see most of them again, but for that week, they were friends. There are friends you've known for years, and you know each other inside out, and know you can ring them any time or just show up and they'll put the kettle on. But then when you're used to that, when everyone you know fits that category, you start to wonder if its possible to start that again with complete strangers. Which is part of the scariness of moving away.
This week, I spent time with a group of fun, interesting, good humoured (and satisfyingly sarcastic!) people, and had a really good time learning about them and telling them about me. We went to the pub one night, one I picked since I know the area, and over a couple of beers we chatted. I can't remember the last time I went to a pub with a group of people I barely know. It was kinda scary. But it was good. Really good. And in a way its sad, cos these were people who, if they lived nearby, I could see myself spending lots of time with, and yet they're scattered over the whole country. But in another way, they showed me that it is possible to find new friends, to meet people you click with, people who can someday become those you know so well. Which was kinda important.
Everyone knows the theme to 'Friends' right- 'I'll be there for you', the Rembrants? Anyway, I know its cheesy, but maybe this is just a cheesy post. Hear me out.
Last week was a tough one, a few things happened at work which made me not want to be there, and on top of all that I had to cope with two nights bat surveys (which pretty much means no sleep) so coping wasn't really on the cards. The weekend however brought a gaggle of Swansea-ites to my door, with food, drink and general merriment. Saturday spent at the Shrewsbury flower show was a lovely day, relaxing, chatting, and laughing at the amusing show categories (who knew a brace of cucumbers and over-sized leeks could be so much fun!). And I was reminded, that good friends are there for you, even if they don't realise it.
I realise also recently, again spelled out in the same song, that friends don't require you to be always on top of everything, succeeding and getting it all right. They're there when you're not, when you mess up, when things aren't going your way, and the same counts for them. When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.. We don't all have everything sussed, there's things we all want to change, things we're aiming for and haven't achieved yet. But we're muddling through, enjoying the good times and sharing the bad, and having a laugh along the way.
And yes its cheesy, but thats sometimes part of life too.
...when you only have tonight, cos tomorrow and the night after you're going to be up all night working. When you know you should get on with some of the things that need doing, cos then you'll feel more productive come the end of the night/tomorrow. When you know you should make something good for you for dinner, cos you have food in the fridge and tomorrow and the night after you're away and its going to be pub food.
But actually, if this is the time you get, then all the sensible 'I should eat sensibly and get on with the to do list' thinking isn't really that tempting. What you really want to do is put a pizza in the oven, open a bottle of wine and put a film on.
The likelihood of situation A happening in comparison to situation B? Sometimes what you need to do is veg out. Maybe that should be on the to do list.
And a season for every purpose under heaven. Thats the way the verse goes right?
Time is a funny thing. When you want it to pass quickly, like a school child waiting for the holidays, it can seem to last forever. Time drags, every minute lasting a lifetime, and it can feel like you're never going to reach the end you're waiting for. In the same way, when you want that day or even that hour to last forever, to be able to keep it, hold it in your hand and never let go, time slips through your fingers like grains of sand.
Well this may seem a little depressing (I think I'm allowed at the moment, I have a bit of time which I know will drag and which I want to be over in a blink). I think also there's more to it than this. Maybe part of the benefit of blogging is it forces me to write these things down and then I think about them in different ways.
This weekend, like many this summer, was one of those in the second category, which I wanted to be able to hold on to, to make it last. If I could, I wouldn't let go. But the good thing about that, is that even though the time itself has gone and I have to face the week (and the next) which follows, the memories of these good times are something that can't slip away. I have them always, each time I close my eyes, whenever I want to think of them. This weekend, the one before, the good times we've had. Laughter, hugs, cooking meals and sharing milestones. And these things are what will get me through the time of the first category, which lasts forever and makes me feel so weary with its passing.
When time is slow, the memories of the good things keep me going through the tough times.
On that whole looking to the positives thing.. I think I just had one of my first actual contacts in Shrewsbury, aside from work (and chatting to confused old ladies in church who think I'm getting married ;)).
Thanks to Richard being helpful and passing on my details, I just had a nice chat with the superintendant of my new circuit here. It still feels odd to think of this place as home, and one thing that I've definately felt the lack of is a church that feels like *mine*. As a methodist, but also as preacher (ooh scary), belonging to a church and to a circuit is hugely important. I always knew it was going to be tough to build that up after leaving Swansea, which was not only was home for so long, but also was where I developed my sense of calling, learnt to hear it and respond to it. It was there, surrounded by support and encouragement from so many, that I started on this rather scary path I find myself on now. And incidentally, I had a letter through from methodist HQ the other day, congratulating me on passing from 'on note' to 'on trial'. Which was rather good :D
So anyway, I digress.. I had a nice chat with the super, and it might be a very small baby step, and there's still a lot to sort out and get used to, but its a really big step for me towards feeling like I belong to something here. Which in itself will help towards feeling like I actually live here, rather than just working and sleeping. And that can only be a good thing.
Weekends at the moment are very precious. With the amount I'm working in the week, and how difficult it is settling into a new place and job, spending weekends with those I care about,getting to relax and be myself, is what gets me through the week. This weekend was rather special, being a whole 2 years since a certain date in Cardiff which has rather changed my life :)
In looking for something to occupy ourselves, Chris stumbled upon the website for this local Roman Vineyard, which happens to be just down the road. After being told their tour was fully booked for Saturday, we got a cancellation last minute on Friday :) and made our way out there yesterday morning. Wroxeter was a Roman settlement, and is apparently an area particularly good for wine-growing because of its unique geographical setting. We learnt lots about English wine, and got an insight into the the vine growing (including wandering round the vines themselves, at which Chris despaired of my botanical geekiness again..), processing the grapes, production and refining. This was followed by an entertaining (and impressively informative!) wine tasting session, and a lunch where we got to finish off some of the wine we'd been tasting! All in all, not a bad way to spend the day :D
This morning, my search to find a church to settle into here continued, with the most local (two minutes round the corner) which we'd been to last weekend, but found ourselves in the middle of a double christening party, so decided to re-visit. The congregation was, if sparse, at least made up of well meaning and friendly people. The amusing aspect to the visit was being asked on at least 2 occasions if we were there to hear our bans read (young couple in church- why else would we be there?!). The most disconcerting of these was the preacher, during the peace, telling me we'd got him worried that he'd forgotten to announce them. Impressive we managed to create that much of a stir just by turning up. Well, it gave us a giggle on the way home at least!
And now its just me here again, weekends go by too quickly :( One of those days there won't be long drives in between us, and having to say goodbye every Sunday. Meanwhile, I'm under instructions to look to the positives. And there's plenty to choose from in the last 24 months :D
Two blog posts in a week, wow I am on a roll.. Hmm, maybe not. But everything's relative. Anyway, I'm just saying hello and I'm ok. Pretty much. This may have something to do with the fact I have one day of work left, then a holiday :) To Canada for a couple of weeks with the parents :D This amazing trip was booked over a year ago now (I think, it feels like a long time) and after holding out for a while 'in case I got a job' (so we'd know something about the best time/holidays etc) we went for it. And then I got a job. Well, not quite that soon, but anyway. They have to let me go, even mid-newting, cos its booked! Hoorah!
So, we're flying on Thursday, to Toronto, and then getting on a little (but rather impressive sounding) train that takes us all the way into Jasper, Alberta, where we then spend some time looking round, and going on trips up to pretty lakes and walking on glaciers and so on. Then we go on a bit further west and into a couple of other national parks before ending up in Vancouver for a couple of days. So when people have said where in Canada are you going, there's not really a short answer!
I'm actually looking forward to it now. Which hadn't happened up untill an hour or so when I started packing.. before then it didn't quite seem real, all it was was a time when I wasn't working. I've been too busy and shattered to think about it more than that. But now its starting to be real. I've got my stuff (more or less) packed. And found my passport. And when I finish work tomorrow I get to drive home. It will be lovely to see my parents and get to spend some actual time with them when we're not all really busy, which we don't get a lot of these days.
The only downside is due to my new job starting part way through the holiday year, I only have enough days for this holiday, and not really anything else. I've managed to swing a day off for Chris' graduation :) but we had to cancel our trip to Scotland which was a shame. But I don't think there's any danger of us not managing to get up there sometime. The more places I see, the longer the list of places I want to see seems to get. Maybe its easier to say where I don't want to go. That wouldn't take long!
Well, I might manage to pop in sometime while I'm away, but if not, I'll see you in June!
Has it really only been a month since I blogged last? It feels like at least two. But here I am. I'm still alive at least.
I've meant to blog, but somehow not quite known what to say. And when I have, and have wanted to write, I haven't had the time to stop by a computer long enough. Life here is busy. Very busy. This time of year is 'newt season', which is when we have to complete any surveys for Great Crested Newts (heavily protected species in the UK) which we've recommended be carried out. Don't ask, its complicated, but they have to be done pretty much now. So I've been thrown into heaps of evening working, not getting back till late, and still more or less having to work in the day as well. So you can see why there's not really been a lot of blogging time.
As well as things being busy, its very hard being here and feeling quite this alone. Its one thing getting used to living on my own, which in itself I quite like. Its another thing to be somewhere where there is absolutely no one I know, and the only people I see are those I work with, cos I haven't got the free evenings right now to go out and do anything else. So for now, its just me. And sometimes I'm ok and sometimes not.
Feeling very isolated isn't helped by having to cope with Chris being (what feels like) very far away too. Long distance isn't a fun thing. And there isn't anything we can do about it for the time being. There are lots of things we just don't know about at the moment, and I have to learn to be patient. I'm trying to be better at dealing with uncertainty, but thats never really been one of my strengths!
I didn't want to start blogging from here with quite so much doom and gloom. I'm doing ok, its just hard sometimes. I spose thats all I wanted to say. I'll be back, hopefully feeling a bit more upbeat.
Ramblin\' Folkie 
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