The problem with people potentially being directed here is that I have no content at the moment. Being engaged is taking up a lot of time. That is not to begrudge the time, but to say that my priorities have necessarily changed. It is most enjoyable to be honest. I wouldn't exchange it for anything except marriage itself.

Coming in somewhere further down the list of enjoyable things is running in thunder storms. Myself and one of my usual running partners (I am a bit of a polygamist in this regard) took ourselves off for a variation on our usual route. I am not sure what it is, but getting soaked within 5 minutes of starting, dripping with water, thunder rolling all around us, lightning flashes illuminating the dark clouds and the whole world changed in hue by the heavy and large rain drops is extraordinary satisfying and exhilarating. Running through the woods was particularly exciting with the sound of the rain on the trees and the rich greens of the leaves bent over with the weight of the water. It is a similar experience to that feeling when reaching the top of a mountain and seeing the spectacular view. Highly commended. You just need to avoid the lightening strikes. (87)

Partly, the very act of typing I find helpful in clarifying my thoughts. As I see what I have typed I see errors and problems with what I have written and so rewrite it and think it through as I go. However, whether there is a need to post it on the web in order for everyone to see? Well, probably not.

So, service will be interrupted until I have prayed things through and examined my own heart. I may revert back to the more conversational posts characteristic before I headed down a more theological path.

Your honest comments as to what you would most like to appear here, whether it is worthwhile and the tone with which you feel posts have been made would be most appreciated.

113 days to go.

Soon down to double figures.

Apologies for the slight error in the calculations. The countdown is to Saturday 14th January 2006.

Sleep well. I will!

\"Going out\" is incredibly scary for the self-same reason: I am seriously considering marriage. All of a sudden the one \"until death us do part\" decision of my life is confronting me head on. At proposal the decision has been made. Therefore, before proposal (i.e. \"going out\") the bloke (i.e. me) is making the one decision of his life which, after it has been taken, the wedding ceremony reached, cannot be changed. To be honest, the whole thing has been terrifying me.

I am 100% convinced I want to marry TLL. The problem is the decision. Whilst a single guy, even whilst \"going out\", there is still the \"option\" of marriage. That said, I recognise it is an option in the sense of one can still choose whether to marry should the right lady come along. And I also recognise that there are many who would want to marry but haven't met anyone suitable and so calling it an \"option\" is unfair. However, the point is that whilst single or \"going out\" the one irrevocable life decision is still a decision. After marriage, there is no longer a decision. It has been taken. The cake has been eaten. And so I find myself not wanting to make the decision even though I am decided. That seems odd. However, I have spoken to some who can empathise.

However, all that was in the past. On Thursday evening I asked the lovely Lady to marry me and she very enthusiastically said yes. The one scary irrevocable life decision has been taken. I am now extremely excited and relieved. And very happy indeed. 180 days to go (provisionally).