my passport got lost in translation, somewhere in canadian embassy in buffalo new york (grrr..i cant type tonite!)
this is how the stupid system works...
first, we need visiting /entry visa in order to get in to canada..
we need student authorization in order to stay and study in canada.
then, 99.99%, your entry visa will be expired before your student authorization.
so! you need to send your passport to any canadian embassy to apply for the entry visa again, this time..you'll get it expired the same date as your student authorization.
ok! i got back from ireland...in dec 2003.
jan 2, i sent my application to renew my student authorization.
2 and a half months later (look how slowwwwwwww it was), i got it.
now i'm going to europe, so i need to renew my entries visa...
the passport got lost...
the UK visa hasnt been applied coz they also need my passport.
i have 1 month and 3 days left!
the ticket has been bought, non-refundable.
so we need at least 2 visa in order to stay in canada and be able to get out and get back in again...
and it takes 2-6 weeks to renew the entries one..
IF i have to leave canada unexpectedly,...i cannot! coz i don't have my passport with me.
why cant they just charged me double but give me both visa, or..charge me double but can do both by only one visa...as an international student, i don't wanna stay here without passport coz it's the only ID. that can identify who i am. without it, i am Jane Doe!
yeah i know i know, in this square...sex, love, relationship, drugs and rock & roll sell well! so i started off my jrl with a propagandistic title ; )
here is how my love story begins...
in Thailand, we dip fruits in salt,
we eat banana with cheese
and
we sprinkle fresh lime juice on papaya.
yeah, three love stories here and there...
it's as simple as you can see, salt reduces acid in fruits, esp. sour ones, so they dont sting your tongue and destroy the enamel on your teeth. that's accidentally makes sense. a perfect match indeed!
banana and cheese, they compliment each other and infuse each other's tastes and fragrances.
same as the previous couple, papaya and fresh lime juice compliment each other so well.
maybe i can compare these couples with cheese and wine or cheese and grapes or cavier? and so on and so on...
on thing these pairs seem to have in common is that each pair seems to have some contrasts btw the two. sour and salty, smelly and sweet, etc...
chemistry is what i am actually talking here ; )
is this how the real life couple shuld be paired?
should we look for someone who's totally opposite to us?
if so, what should we go by the idea of finding someone who 'have sth in common'?
can a couple who has many things in common have such contrasts that still compliment each other?
where is the right chemistry here? in this combination?
; )
atomica
ps. this jrl was inspired by my bf. he just went koo koo and called me crazy when he saw me sprinkled salt all over the fruit salad that i made. he tasted one bite and shooke his head and said..'i'm open to try many things, but fruits with salt...NOOOOOO!!!!'
cyberspace, digital space, new media, computers...
seeing you rise, i cant imgine your falls.
but what i can imagine is that...
in the future...parents have to buy a laptop for you instead of books, and all studying materials will come in disk, assigned every semester.
you'll learn how to type instead of learning how to write.
hand writing will become an elective class and gradually become high arts.
instead of hand using skills, you'll be prepared to use eye moving skills instead.
human ergonomic will change. of course that'll affect the evolution of mankind.
multitasking will be on focus and human will find method to develop this behaviour.
wow, it's been a long while....that i ahve've been posting any entries here...
well that was e_m who reminded me that i'd been sleeping too long so i did post something a couple weeks ago.
i have both good and bad news...
first i got accepted to SIGGRAPH2004 Sketches presentation...the reviews that i got were great!
i sort of pround of myself a little bit.
my prof assured to me that if i could make my way to SIGGRAPH, my CV will be so desirable...we'll see.
i also got accepted to AoIR conference at Sussex. and now i am waiting for the answer from NILE 2004 which will be held in Scotland.
i decided to attend AoIR and NILE (if i got accepted from teh NILE), but i wont be going to LA. from SIGGRAPH coz it'll be too much money to pay : (
my works, my ideas and my name wil be there tho...and they wil be presented by my prof who really wants to attend siggraph...fine by me.
i got 84, and 86 from the two classes that i took this semester...a bit disappointed coz i dreamed to get over 90, anyhow, it's no big deal..and it's only fair coz i didnt turn in 2 assignments : p
well..it was crazy and i dindt have time and didnt feel like finishing thsoe assignment coz it seemed so boring to me...basically they were easy ones, just had to make up some scenarios, which i didnt see any point in rewriting wht the prof had demonstrated in class, that's why i chose to ignore...call me a bad student, i dont mind : )
now only editing one more paper...copy and paste is most i'll be doing...
and one more freelance job..then i am project F R E E ! ! !
other than that, my rm is moving out on sat...or latest will be this coming sunday..so i am going to have a BIG cleaning up for my apartment...which i've been looking forward to for ages!!!
i am sooooooooooooooooooooo H A P P Y ! ! !
and i'll be home alone for a month or more...wahoooooooo!!!
bad thing is, i gotta pay all the rent and bills all by myself...
plus i gotta pay 2.5k for income tax! :"(
anyway, i gave the speech at the conference today, it went well...even if it was bad, who cares anyway...coz it's O V E R ! ! !
and i watch master and commander, and third watch....and will be watching 'party animal' later tonite.
and for tomorrow nite....i'll get drunk!
and next mission, i got myself and the project 'fragments of me' to a conference (s), one is in sussex in sept/2004...that's a free trip to europe im talking here...
; )
i love the world...
wahahhaha
wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
let's sing!
Joey, baby - don't get crazy
Detours, fences...I get defensive
I know you've heard it all before
So I don't say it anymore
I just stand by and let you
Fight your secret war
And though I used to wonder why
I used to cry till I was dry
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside
Oh, Joey, if you're hurting so am I
Joey, honey – I’ve got some money
All is forgiven. Listen, listen
But if I seem to be confused
I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you
Well I guess you scared me too
But we got lucky once before
And I don't want to close the door
And if you're somewhere out there
Passed out on the floor
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore
And if I seem to be confused
I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you
Well I guess you scared me too
But if it's love you're looking for
Then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and
Passed out on the floor
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore
i am deatiredsociety@goingcrazy.ca
too many assignments and projects...4 presentations with in the past 2 weeks.
and a lot more to come...i need a break....my profs are trying to kick me to scotland in summer...please please please....give me strength, give me mroe brain muscle...
anyway, hopwe i can hit ireland again thsi summer as well...i wanan go to flea markets!
:D
i woke up at 9 o'clock, that's very early for me but i had enough sleep so that's cool. next week is the suicidal week, so we're gonna have a spring break. no break for me though...i have so many things to do. i have no idea how to finish everything in time...but i know i will.
and my roommate has left to her farm, so i'll be homealone until late wednesday...that's cool!
and i went to school to do a software testing, i volunteered to do that...it's fun...not interesting but i've learned sth from doing that. it's all good...
and i went to class...we watched two tv serial programs. one was from new south-africa and the other one was from brazil. the one from brazil. the brazillian show made me cried...stupid stupid stupid...
we were in one screening room where we had to sit around a huge table. i knew that it's closed to ending and the light would be turn on very soon. so i tried to stop my tears but it just kept on pouring. pathetically, it wasn't even that sad!
and the light was on, and everyone turned to face each other and the class started to discuss about the production technique...and i felt like i wanted to bang my head on the table if that would stop me from the stupid crying.
and i have to get back to my works, which i don't know which one should i do it first.
if you haven't seen lords of the ring, i suggest you to step back and come back to this journal after you have seen the movies.
i went to see lords of the ring: the return of the king on sunday, mannnnnnnnnnn...i cried a lot!...such a big leaker i am...anyway, since the story has ended, i can start reading teh books now. unfortunately i won't have any time for that very soon. i personally prefer to read the books first because usually reading allows me to use my imagination to visualize every element by myself while movies always let the director monopolises the visualizing process for me. that's not fun but yet interesting to compare mine and his/hers.
the last episode of this movie seems to reveal all the ideologies, everything becomes clear to me. these movies talk about nations, industrialization, naturalization, utopia, power, manipulation, classification and a lot more, up to whatever you would interpret.
here is my brief interpretation:
the relationship between sam and frodo is depicted as friends from the first two episodes but in the last episode, the director shifts this relationship to be servant and master. why so? that could be because the real relationship that the two have is a relationship between servant and master but in order to avoid global conflict, the director has decided to slightly change it a little bit. hence, that gives more positive bias towards frodo, the main character, as well. therefore, he decided to change it back to what it really is in the last episode because he really has to distinguish the utopians from others.
who are those utopians and why?...the utopians are those who at the end travel away out to the seven seas. although the film might suggest that they are going to die away, but what i see is that they are leaving the middle earth or the high earth (utopia). they are qualified because they have proved that their stage of mind, their intellect and their knowledge are high enough. which means, they have no more greed, they understand others, they have become neutral, they don't manipulate others and so forth.
for the debate upon industrialization and naturalization are presented clearly in the second episode, i woudl say that it's not always true that naturalization is better, it's just the way we have been taught to believe that way (even me, i do believe that nature is better).
for nations and power...it's very clear...the ring represents power...it doesn't always suck up anybody's mind...it's also something that hard to let go. even someone who just has good intention to help, like sam....when he has the ring with him...it's hard to let go....not becoz he feels that he's empowered but becoz power makes him feels 'important', from an honest servant....becomes 'somebody'...that's why it's difficult to let go, and it's easier to just be honest and don't have power in hands, coz when he hasn't tasted the feeling of becoming someone special then he has no idea how it's just, just keeps his mind straight to his duty.
yeah...just my opinions, and i can go on for pages and pages...but i rather stop here and may be you can share your ideas with me...
the movie as a whole is about the conflicts between old and new culture that occurred in Japan in 18th century. the characters are used as representations of cultural contexts.
Captain Nathan is the representation of American culture or new culture. (well, Col. Bagley too but wait wait wait....i'll explain the differences later.)
Simon Graham, a british documentarian is the narrator and the storyteller. there are reasons for using British for this character as well.
The Emperor is the representation of all the Japanese.
Katsumoto is the representation of old culture or Japanese culture.
i think, you have got the idea already for what i am going to present here.
i'll go briefly and pick up only a few things to say here, not all but i ensure that it's enough to cover main points.
at the very beginning of the film, the storyteller, Simon Graham says about how Japan was created from sword, but he believes that Japanese was created by handful of brave men. then the images on screen reveals Katsumoto, the samurai leader sitting peacefully and quietly in grass field in the middle of beautiful landscape. katsumoto is maditating. he sees a white tiger battling with his crews in a foggy battle field.
--- I THINK!, the reason for choosing a british guy to be the documentarian is because:--1, to emphasis the relationship between japan and america. 2, photography was first invented in britain in 18th century. 3, he's an eye witness in the story.
Katsumoto see the white tiger-- Katsumoto foresee that new culture is arising in japan, the new culture comes from white country that is aggressive, dangerous, and powerful. and his samurais and himself have to battle against that new culture (he doesn't have magic power to exactly see the future as the film presents). the uses of peaceful landscapes, silent and calm environment around katsumoto suggest that old japan is peaceful.
the tiger shot ends with extreme close-up of tiger eyes then cut to katsumoto's face and zoom in to focus only his eyes. that means...the white tiger, as new culture and katsumoto as old culture are facing each other in opposite direction and they are going to fight against each other to the core.
the emperor as the representation of confused japaneses. japanese are confused by the rapid growth of new culture as the main stream. with the mind that eagers to know and to accept it all once struggles when Katsumoto confronts him about this issue. that is why he asks Katsumoto, as he is Katsumoto's student, for what he should do.--japan starts to feel uncertain whether to continue westernizing or remains as is. Katsumoto declines to give his suggestion--because, he's the represents of 'old culture', the choice is in all japanese's hands. the emperor as the whole japanese decides to choose new culture. therefore, at the end of the movie he gives a speech to his governers that eventhough japanese has railroads, weapons, western clothing but we must not forget who we are and where we came from. he finally honors Katsumoto and takes his sword and going to learn how samurai lived. this suggests that japanese still remains their own culture and traditions in balance with western culture that has transmitted to japan.
Cap. Nathan fines peace in living with the samurai tribe. he represents the new culture for the part that japanese choose to keep. that is because he is the part that both old and new culture have time to adjust, learn, and know each other. the most significant scene that says it so is when he tries to help Taka with her household works, she tells him that guys don't do this kind of works and he replies that he is not japanese. the way Cap. Nathan gradually be accepted by the tribes and by old culture. the way they allow him to learn how to fight like a samurai, and a lot more. there are cultural trades here between japan and american. and for Col. Bagley, he dies because he represents the part of american culture that is not accepted in japan.
there are a lotttttt more to analyse but let see how you think!
we drink tea for two, the sky is blue and i love you.
(atomicpixie, 07.02.04)
with my exhausted smile...
once upon last month i mentioned to my classmates while we were waiting for the prof that it would be nice if i knew HTML. one classmate said that she could teach me if i wanted. (A*)
a week later, another classmate brought a HTML guidebook to me and said i could return it whenever i finished. (B*)
during the class, we discussed about WebCT software and i complained that i wanted the software to provide the save username and password coz if i regularly used it then i didn't have to sign in everytime...one classmate who seemed to have opinions in every issue [also acts like a teacher pet] brusted in and said that it'd cause some 'security problems...i turn to him and said 'NO! i am talking about personal PC, who would save username and password on public PC?' (C*)
last tuesday, i was extremely upset coz i was forced to get involved in one project which i already declined. i dont have time for it. a few disturbing phone calls added more anger. one ex-classmate walked by, i said 'hi!'...she stopped and asked..'are u ok?' my voice was shaking and i said 'i'm ok' she said 'u dont look ok' so i said..'i'm just very mad', she asked further..'are u gonna be ok?'...i said 'yes, i'll be ok...thank you so much' (D*)
today, in the class, i almost got up and bang a guy who sat behind me with his laptop, or maybe with my hardcover textbook. he has been inconsiderate to all the classmate and the prof. today he kept taking deep heavy breaths and that's annoying. i give him one more time, if he's still being a jerk...i'll be real direct to him...(E*)
imagine yourself living your life carefreely. you feel happy, fullfilled, secure, steady, alone but not lonely.
and one day, you went outside and BANG! you happened to experience a so-called 'love at first sight'. you massively had a huge crush that seemed to be larger than life to someone that was totally not your type. even so, your heart still screamed out inside 'i wanna be with you!'. your lips were sealed, your cheeks were blushing but you did nothing about it.
then you came home, your heart was on fire. you kept yourself staying put instead of being persuasive, not that you like being passive but you didn't want to make the person felt uncomfortable. you just did not want to pressure that person because you were afraid that if s/he was not interested in you, s/he would be annoyed by your approachs. or may be s/he would just play along because s/he was too polite to turn you down.
and...you didn't know how to get your feeling back to where it was--before you went out.
one of my senior at the univ. in bkk was a happily crazzzzzzzzily fun guy. he loved dancing, he loved drinking, he loved chilling out at night, he loved travelling a lot. as an art director in some famous advertising agency, he'd got quite a big sum. every year he would go travel somewhere out of thailand.
it's nearly ten years ago, that he has travelled to london. he planned to stay in the thai embassy when he arrived. unfortunately his flight was delayed. so he arrived very late at night. he went to the embassy, the security guards didn't let him in, of course it's off hours. it was raining, wet and cold..yeah! for sure. there were a lot of homeless walking, lying around.
he was standing there thinking of what to do. i guess he's confused and hesitated of where to go.
while wanderring, there was one guy walking straight to the embassy gate. the guy was trying to unlock the door in order to get in. at the same time he kept his eyes fixed -- staring at my senior. hadn't properly unlocked the door, the guy decided to walk straight to my senior and asked "excuse me, may i ask if you have ever applied to Suan Kulap highschool before?". my senior replied.."yes, but i didn'y attend that school, i changed my mind to study fine arts instead"....
that guy looked at my senior and said.." do you remember the day you went to apply to Suan Kulap, you gave some money to a boy who didn't have enough money for the application fee?"
my senior recalled his memories and said "yes, i remember, i did that"
the guy said.."yes, i know you did that, because i am that poor boy who got into that famous highschool becoz of your money, and now..i got a scholarship to come to study here, c'mon..let's get inside".
ps. this is a true story, the story might not be 100% accurate becoz it was long time ago, and it's not my own story. but it's not much different from this.
in europe, when you flash the headlight, that means you kindly allow the other car to go first.
in thailand, when a driver flash the ehadlight, s/he is saying that' don't even think about it...this way is mine!!!!!'
when i was little,..i asked my dad..why you and other cars from the opposite direction kept flashing high headlight to each other?
he said...'we were showing off just to see whose headlight gave stronger light'
1 green granny apple,
8 prawns (peeled),
3-5 tablespoons of ground chicken,
2-3 shallots,
1 lime,
fresh peppermint,
2-3 fresh chilly peppers,
3-4 table spoons of fishsauce,
1/2 teaspoon of sugar.
and salt.
then...in your kitchen you have to...
peel the apple and cut into 8 pieces, leave them in salf water so it won't turn brown.
peel the shallots and slice them nicely,
take the peppermint leaves off from the stems,
rough chop the chilli peppers,
make the lime ready to use.
...
set a small pot of the stove and put 1 1/2 cup of water in.
add a little bit of salt.
when the water starts bubbling a little...add ground chicken to teh put and stir, don't let them stick together...try to seperate them.
when the chicken is almost cooked, in go the prawns.
wait till everything is cooked, turn off the stove and remove 'most' of the soup from the pot.
leave the meat to cool down a bit
in your salad bowl...you start by...
toss cooked chicken and prawns, those 8 pieces of apple, chopped chilli pepper, sliced shallots, fishsauce, sugar, fresh squeezed lime juice together.
taste the salad and see how you like it...the taste is up to you and it's just so easy to adjust.
when you've got the right taste for you, then toss peppermint leaves in, stir a bit and leave some leaves for decoration.
thank you : )
i finally be here.
i'll login again and contribute more...
it's almost 6.00 am here where i live.
envision my bed....it looks nice...i'd better locate myself to the bed for now.
fragments of my own life 
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