Well, it's been quite a chocablock 2 weeks. Due to an accident while in Lewes, I am now effectively crippled until just before Christmas. I was hit by a car, which crunched my leg. Pursuant to a nuclear bone scan (not half as exciting as it sounds) on Tuesday, I have discovered a greenstick fracture in my tibia and a crack along my kneecap. The hospital have strapped it all up, put me back on a walking stick (until just before Christmas, and I have to go to the hospital every Tuesday to have gunk sucked out of my knee. It seems like only this time last year that I was on a walking stick because of tendonitis (oh, that's right, it was this time last year). I'm fed up with having crap legs, I really am, but, what can you do (short of having them chopped off and I lik them the rest of the year)?
So, after some Annual Leave to recover (including an ironic Monday where I had to go to a Diability Discrimination Briefing, on a walking stick!) I am now back at work, getting to do seated things pretty much all day, and now I have a gripe (hear he goes again I hear you say).
It's not the sitting, that's fine. It's not even the chairs, although they are extremely uncomfortable as well as bad for one's back. It is a new thing the library have introduced while I was away: the Lambeth Libraries Loyalty Card. This is a card given to you by your local library, and every time you go and borrow something you get it stamped, and after five stamps you can borrow a CD, video or DVD for free instead of having to pay. So far so good. It turns out, however, that each library will be giving out its own cards and will only stamp its own cards. That's like giving you a different Nectar card for each Sainsburys! This seems ridiculously foolish to me. If you could get the card stamped at any library it might encourage borough loyalty rather than have people buggering off to Westminster, Wandsworth or Southwark. And, if you're going to call it a Lambeth Libraries Loyalty Card, you might as well accept the one card in all libraries, as at the moment its a 'Branch Library Loyalty Card'. But as usual, we weren't even consulted about this, because, God forbid the ask the advice of the people who work on the front line and therefore know how libraries work.
However, I am having a hair cut this evening , a day away followed by a Shipmeet on Saturday and church on Sunday so I'll have a nice relax before Stockwork (ugh) on Monday morning.
"This is Lambeth's ENABLED vision – Engaging communities, Narrowing the gap between equalities groups, encouraging Active citizens to participate in the life of the borough, Building capacity of voluntary groups, providing exemplary Leadership, Eliminating discrimination through such programmes as Zero Tolerance and providing Differentiated services – not using a one-size-fits-all approach, but providing for each customers individual needs." - from the Lambeth Council Website.
Dear God, have you ever read such a non-sensical piece of rubbish? And talk about desparately trying to find an acrostic to fit the word 'Enabled'. It's not that hard. 'LAMBETH' - Local Assholes March Back Even Though they're Hopeless. See, even I can do it, and I don't get payed a small fortune as a Marketing/Advertising/Image consultant.
What it reminds me of most of all are the horrible 'Mission Statements' in the 'Dilbert' cartoons and Scott Adams books (things like 'The Joy of Work' and 'Fugitive from the Cubicle Police') full of management buzzwords (like 'paradigm' and 'efficaciousness') that mean nothing but sound even emptier.
However, this is not my only gripe about today. The Library computer system has gone down. Naturally, although all libraries are open on Saturday (and some on Sunday) the Library systems team (who deal with our IT problems) only work Monday to Friday. Surely they could work out some shift system so there is at least some coverage? We manage it in the Librarys themselves so it can't be that difficult surely?
Oh well, in the meantime, all we have to do is use the backup offline system to Issue and Discharge books, while manually writing down all DVD and video issues so we can input these (and deal with payments etc.) on Monday, I mean, it's not like we have work to do then or anything (in case you didn't guess, that's sarcasm, if you did, apologies for the patronage). I guess I should be used to this kind of management rubbish by now, working for local government, but it still annoys me. No evidence of forward planning or anything.
Like another new idea. The Z Bar in Brixton is now offering a 10% discount to Lambeth staff on production of a staff ID card. Of course, Library staff aren't valued enough to get a staff ID card so what the hell are we supposed to do if we want to go for a drink and meal in the Z Bar. Show our nametags and bitch?
That's better. Feel much calmer now. Breathe, and relax. Aaaahhhh.
I feel as sick as a dog. For the past 6 days I have been pretty much laid up with gastric flu. A wonderful disease! What it does is kill all the bacteria in your stomach you you find it incredibly difficult to digest anything. It has to go somewhere, so it picks a direction (up or down) and proceeds to travel that way, a lot. During this, you can't change your diet or you will lose the ability to digest those kind of foods so you just have to put up with it. Not at all pleasant.
I managed to leave the house on Sunday to go to Evening Praise. When I arrived it was a definite good news, bad news situation. The good news was that our band leader's wife had had a son at 1.46 that morning. The bad news was that Iain wasn't going to make it to the evening service so with my limited skills, I had to play the piano! If only my mobile was working (see further down) I would have known so could have at least played the guitar for some of it, but it seemed to go okay and I was able to skip the songs I couldn't play.
This mobile problem is bugging me muchly. During the summer I got a nice new Samsung which now appears to be having a fit of pique and refusing to charge, most annoyingly. It now spends all its time turning itself off, making me unable to do anything with it. Luckily, having now tracked down my proof of purchase I can send it back and get them to repair it, although I will have to go through the rather annoying action of collecting numbers again. Annoyingly, the phone itself has a great way of organising numbers in its memory ie. you put in the persons name and then can store a home number, mobile number, work number, e-mail address, put them in a group, take a photo to identify them and assign them a ringtone. However, if you leave the details on your SIM card as well, every entry is duplicated at least once which makes your phone book look all messy (the neat freak in me gets annoyed at that kind of thing). So, I'd transferred all my numbers from my SIM into my phone and now can't even transfer them back. If it gets repaired there's no guarantee any of that will remain, but I'll have to wait and see.
The other thing this week is the International Supper at church on Friday, which, again, I am cooking two big pots'o'stuff for. I have managed to get permission to leave work teo hours early on Friday and will then go and 'do my thang' as it were. Finding traditional Hawaiian food on the internet was quite hard so I've gone for the old standbys, a beany, lentil-y chili type thing (vegetarian/vegan) and a beefy, rice-y, spring oniony thing. Should be fun. Expect a full report next week.
In the meantime, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Well, Friday (and, that once a month treat, payday) rolls around again. This being Black History Month, we have an event in the Library tonight that will keep me here until at least 8pm. It's not too bad though, it's an African Food thing, with food, wine and a special guest from the Nigerian High Commission (and I can get at least 2 hours TOIL for it) so it should be fun.
Over the weekend, I have persuaded the Ship of Fools people to come to Nolan's (the pub I live above for regular readers) for Saturday evening which should be fun. I'm just hoping there isn't football, either England or Chelsea, otherwise we might have to make alternative arrangements (it gets really quite loud)! Then, on Sunday, now I'm used to being back at work and am less tired, I shall endeavour to drag my almost certainly hungover ass to church to sing with the choir for the morning service, then return for the evening one. I've been quite bad these last few weeks at making either, so I really should start making an effort.
Then Monday looms. This Monday will be particularly fun as I (and a number of colleagues) have to journey to West Norwood to meet Robert Overall, the new Head of Environment and Culture, the directorate Libraries has just been moved to. This is so Library staff can meet him. Then, on Thursday we head to the Oval so we can meet him and our new colleagues. So, it looks like it will be a week of boring meetings.
On Tuesday, however, my day off, I'm having the final meeting with my psychologist. We have come to the end of our 18 week period so it will be the last time I see the lovely Sam. What I have to think about before then is whether I want to be referred on to someone at St Thomas' or not. I am thinking that I may well take advantage of this. It would at least give me a chance to work through some of the cans of worms that Sam and I have opened in my sessions with her, and may also give me a chance of stopping the depression starting again which is always worth taking. But we'll see what happens and I'll keep you updated.
Well, I'm not going to apologise. Every so often one needs a damn good bitch because the stupidity of the world (both people and the physical world) just gets a bit much. For example:
Today, interestingly (thatis irony, in case you were wondering) the Lambeth Borough Council reorganistaion (sponsored by 'Crapness and Disorganisation, Inc.™') finally finished. So, this morning we had an e-mail informing us that Libraries, Arquives and Arts has been moved from the Education Directorate. In fact, there is no longer an Eucation Dirctorate at all and we have been moved to 'Environment and Culture', which is a little bizarre to say the least. I can sort of understand the Culture, but Environment? It makes about as much sense as three years ago when Libraries were moved from Culture and Leisure to Education. Then we got on board with the whole Lifelong Learning trend and were having a whale of a time. Now they've shifted us out and who knows what's going to happen now.
Not only is there upheaval in the management structure but also in the frontline staff. As I said last time many members of staff either moved or left during the summer so now we have to deal with new agency staff. Now is it just me who has a problem understanding this or are you similiarly baffled? I am helping to train some new members of staff who don't understand that although we file our DVDs in alphabetical order, if the title starts with 'The', it doesn't necessarily get filed under 'T'. For example, the file 'The Yes Men' gets filed under 'Y' (for yes). Now is this up to rocket science standard, or should it be reasonably easy to understand? Whether it is or not, it's taking them quite a while to grasp the idea.
Away from work, I am trying to find a restaurant for my + girlf's anniversary. How do I tell her how difficult it is to find a restaurant open on a Sunday evening, when the vegetarian (damn them all to hell) option does not involve pesto (which she doesn't like) or risotto (which she sometimes doesn't like) without making her cry or something? All options gratefully received.
...for the long period between my last update and this. The reason being I took some time out from work/life as I was suffering from some extreme depression. It got to the point where I felt I couldn't risk working with the public as due to the chemical imbalance caused by the beta-blockers (as bitched about previously) and the mental imbalance caused by the fact I wasn't exactly the 'Posterboy for Psychological Stability™' meant that the risk of me having a psychotic episode and hurting myself, one (or more) of my colleagues, a member of the public or, God forbid, a child were too great so I thought I had better take some time out.
Luckily (or not, depending on how you look at it) the husband of the Library Area Manager also suffers from depression and she was very understanding, saying "Take as much time as you need: one month, two or more as necessary. When you feel better, come back and your job will be waiting for you." I thought that was a really good way of making your staff feel valued and looked after and it was certainly very helpful.
So I took some time off (it ended up being almost three months) and have been seeing the psychologist at our local clinic for that time and she has been very helpful working through various issues (which I won't bore you all with now) that were causing some problems.
It wasn't all bad though. I also got a week in Glastonbury for New Wine '05, which, although not as much fun as previous years got me out of London just after the bombings and the killing of Jean Charles de Meneses (sp?) when everybody was really paranoid and that wasn't helping my own paranoia at all. I also had a very pleasant weekend with the girlf and other Ship of Fools people at Greenbelt. Although it was my first time there were some truly amazing things; a complete inability to find the tent on the first night resulting in a 2 hour wander (almost certainly within feet of it several times); a vicar who was also a 'Human Beatbox', a man who canm put reverb and delay on his own voice with no electronic aids whatsoever; some really good singer/songwriters in the Performance Café; fantastic bacon sandwiches and burgers; plenty of wine around tables late at night; and many other wonderful things. It was, all in all a very pleasant weekend and even enabled me to buy a hat. Keeps the sun off in summer and the rain off in winter and has become my distinctive piece of apparel (it's always good to have one).
During this time I also began to have heart palpitations again (yep, that's right, yet again) and ended up spending a few days in hospital. At the moment I'm just waiting for an appointment with the Cardiology Department at St Thomas' to come through, when I'll be seeing the cardiologist and the electro-physiologist who will, between them decide how to sort this problem out once and for all. Apparently the last time they sorted this problem out once and for all it didn't quite work (obviously) so now they're going to try again. I'll update you all on that as things progress (hooray, I may even get to explain radiofrequency ablations to you if you're really lucky).
Anyhow, the mental problems are now mostly resolved, the new balance of medication seems to have my irregular heart under control and I'm back at work, feeling like I've never been away, apart from the fact a whole load of people have left and my colleague Carmen is moving libraries so I won't see her again after today unless I'm sent to Brixton or she's sent here. Oh well. Anyway, apologies for taking this time out of your life to read this veritable epistle.
I hope you are all well and I hope to hear from you soon.
They complain when it's rainy and cold, but oh, the bitching when it's hot. Now, although I'm not an enormous fan of overly hot weather, especially not at the moment because I'm stuck here in the library (where we can't open the windows because the builders have covered them over, the roof is glass and the thermometer has just hit 39) but I don't mind it that much, especially as I managed to persuade my boss to let me wear shorts to work.
I wish people would just put up with it and quit their whining. So it's hot. Don't bitch to me, bitch to my (and your) parents. It's there CFCs and fossil fuels that mean we are consistently having the hottest summers on record (although in England that's not saying much, I know you Americans routinely have weather much hotter and much more humid than this, but then, you also have plenty of air con. something we don't really do in this country).
So, I sit here in my shorts, feeling the pressure and thinking things aren't too bad. I've got some money to go to the pub, I'm still not sleeping, but then neither is anyone else and the only thing troubling me is why I am in such a ruminative frame of mind. And the answer? I don't know. Suggestions welcome.
Well, at least things are a bit quieter after yesterday, which turned out to be The Workday-from-Hell™. In the morning, we had a Teddybears Picnic (as part of the ReadingisFundamental program sponsored by Starbucks Coffee). So that was about 60 children, plus parents, who were read stories then sang songs. Then we had to prevent the kids drinking the supplied Starbucks coffee, and give them each a book to take away. There's nothing like a good hour of chaos to really kickstart your day.
After lunch, I then had the fun of my appraisal. Who designed these things? Does anyone enjoy them? Does anyone even find them useful? I personally would much rather get on with the work I have to do rather than sit down for an hour setting "Goals and Objectives" for myself, most of which will have changed exponentially by the time the 6 month review comes around. Seems bloody pointless to me.
In other news, let's look back at the week.
Saturday's Shipmeet. A small but select gathering met at The Sanctuary, a nice pub with good beer. Good cheer/beer was had (although I should have eaten a bit more before I went, drunkeness came on a bit quickly) and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Hopefully Jackie had a good birthday (that was the 'reason' for the meet, even though the event was over a week earlier) and all, but I do have to say I am looking forward to this coming weekend, the joy of having some time off, a Saturday to do nothing will be most enjoyable.
Sunday was my first time in church for about three weeks (due to illness etc.) and it was nice to be back. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed singing in the previous weeks and thanks to the grace of God my voice held out. The downside was due to these damn pills leaving me feeling absolutely exhausted.
Monday was a fun, fun team briefing down at Clapham library, enlivened only by quite a heated discussion on a certain library policy that I'm not going to go into here as I'll just get het up again. Yeuch.
Tuesday went to the doctor to say 'Thanks for the beta-blockers. Physically, I'm better than I've been in ages: mentally I'm completely screwed up'. The solution has been prescription of a type of hayfever medication, also used as anti-stress medication to be taken as and when needed. So, I'm left with the simple choice of moody and paranoid, or feeling like I've been hit over the head with a comedy frying pan (I'm sure you understand the sentiment, even if not the reference). Ho hum, it's all part of life's rich pattern.
As I say, now it's just finish the week and look forward to Saturday...two hours sleep a night is a real killer.
So, I know you haven't had an update for a couple of weeks but there is a good reason for this, namely the Worst Bank Holiday™ (that's in my life, not ever, because obviously, other people have had worse ones, but not me). Anyway, here's what happened.
On Tuesday (26th May) I began to get a bit of a headache in the evening. Attributing it to tiredness (thanks to my wonderful insomnia) I resolved to get an early night and go to bed. Waking up on Wednesday morning I sat up in bed, and screamed as what felt like a whole load of tiny little people began beating my head with great big, and very real, baseball bats. After calling work and alerting them to the fact I wouldn't be coming in to work, I spent the whole day lying on my bed, eyes closed (because the light was making them hurt) and with a wet cloth on my head, trying to keep the pain at bay. However, this did not help.
Thursday (28th May) was worse. I began spewing from both ends (if you catch my drift). If I tried to drink water to replace my fluid loss, it would come straight back up again. As I'm sure you can imagine, I was getting a little worried by this point so I headed to the doctor. He said (after hearing the story) "It might be meningitis. I doubt it, but it might be, so we'll send you to the hospital to rule that out. In the meantime, just so we're covered, we'll inject you with some penicillin." I began to roll my sleeve up but, oh no. "In the buttocks I'm afraid," he said, with a grin. After fetching his French colleague (because apparently they take the buttock injecting route more often in France) and shooting my ass full of penicillin (which is remarkably painful) I got on the bus and headed up to St Thomas' Hospital. After handing in the doctors referral note I was whisked through to Major Accidents, had a drip (just saline) shoved in me, stuffed full of pain killers, a chest x-ray and some basic observations. At this point, they discovered my heart had slipped into atrial fibrillation (like ventricular fibrillation, the v.fib. they shout about in ER and Casualty but less serious) so gave me an ECG and stuck me on a heart monitor as well.
After ringing work to let them know I probably wasn't going to be in until after the Bank Holiday, and the girlf to let her know I was a little ill but not going to die, I was transferred upstairs to a general admissions ward and spent a restless night, listening to nurses talking far too loudly about the house one of them had bought (£253,000, 3 bedrooms, 5 minutes from the station) and ordering a chinese meal (a 2, a 3, a 19 and a 25, along with some salt and pepper chicken wings, but not too salty).
The following day (Friday) I got to see a cardiologist who said that slipping into atrial fibrillation every couple of weeks (which is what I've been doing) isn't that healthy and can potentially lead to a stroke so they would try and sort that out. He then prescribed some beta-blockers (Sotalol, 40mgs twice a day for all you budding pharmacologists out there) and discharged me.
Saturday night, a relapse occurred. Syptoms returning, more spewing from both ends. After an incredibly unhelpful series of calls to NHS Direct, I decided to go back to the hospital. Back on the drip, seen by doctor, into the Observation Ward (much quieter nurses) and a slightly more restful night.
That was pretty much my existence. After 5 litres of fluid (to replace what I'd lost), plenty of medication and several examinations I was finally discharged on Monday afternoon. The rest of the week was spent recouperating (sp?) and I went back to work on Monday (6th June) armed with a sicknote from the doctor and two months worth of beta-blockers.
So, you can see what I mean when I say it was a pretty sucky Bank Holiday. Although through it all the girlf was a tower of strength, visiting me in hospital bringing things like shower gel and toothpaste, just sitting talking to me, cooking when I was recovering and generally being around being Sweetness And Light™.
Now of course, I'm finally discovering the psychological side-effects of the beta-blockers. The insomnia, the mood swings, the depression and paranoia. So I'm back off to the doctor on Tuesday.
In the meantime I've got a Birthday party/shipmeet at The Sanctuary Public House on Saturday where I'll be drinking (but obviously less than is usual) because although excessive alcohol is contraindicated with beta-blockers, the doctor said I don't need to worry. It says that because it's normally 50s and over or the excessively overweight who need to go on them (and at 6'1" and 68kg (150lbs) I don't fit into the overweight category). Apart from that it's work as usual.
Hope all your bank holidays and sunsequent days have been better than mine and I'll see you all soon.
O frabjous day (callooh, callay, I chortle in my joy)
(Gambit, May 19, 2005, 5:43 pm)
I've just booked and paid for my Greenbelt ticket. Now it's just a matter of booking the time off (and buying a small Camping Gaz stove for cups of tea) and I'm all set, yay (bounce, bounce)!
So, what's been going on? Well, since last time we met, I had an incredibly heavy weekend. IIRC, last time I announced I was heading off to my birthday party. Going on what I can recall, we had a great time. Much Guiness, good conversation, cards, presents and fun was had by all. With the Saturday off, I had plenty of chnce to recover before Saturday night, just in time for 'another; birthday party (not mine this time, but a friends. This involved Karaoke, pool, more beer and more fun. I even managed to take girlf home and return to the pub for another couple of hours. Staggering home at 3.40 I reflected on a weekend well spent.
Sunday was church as usual, with a really good evening service for Pentecost. The music had been really well chosen, covering the gamut from Plainsong for 'Come Holy Ghost Our Souls' Inspire', one of my favourite hymns, to the more relaxed music of 'Holy Spirit We Welcome You'. All in all, a realy beautiful service, which along with a congregation that's starting to grow made the whole experince worthwhile.
Monday morning was a seminar at West Norwood library with the Head of Library Services, to give us a chance to tell her any gripes/issues that we felt needed to be addressed. Although sceptical to begin with, it actually turned out to be quite a useful session, although the same points (more staff, more consistent IT provision) came up again and again, as they have been doing in all seminars and at Union meetings. The rest of the day was work as normal.
On Tuesday I filled in an application for a new job. Administrative Assistant at the House of Lords' Library. It looked like quite an interesting post, definitely worth going for and even if I don't get it, filling in application forms is always fairly good practice. We'll see what comes of that. If I haven't heard by mid-June, apparently I haven't been shortlisted so it's another wait-and-see-thing.
Then more work etc. etc and now we are getting nearer to the end of the week, my next birthday party draws on apace, the one at the Greencoat Boy (http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=4;t=002393 for info) which looks like being great fun. I'm really so not annoyed at missing the Eurovision Song Contest. They are better ways to spend an evening than abusing your ears and (through the licence fee) being chrged for it!It will be good to see all the London Chapter® again, and the Greencoat Boy is quite a nice pub (as well as being shockingly easy to get to, and stagger home from).
So, I hope you all have an end of week and weekend as good as mine, and I'll see you all again, probably this time next Thursday. VAya con Dios!
Well, it finally happened. I turned 27 on Sunday 8th May. I don't know what it is, but I suddenly feel a whole lot older. Whether it's because my sister turned 30 last year and is now in her 30's, parents are nearly both sixty (Father actually passed that a while ago) at 27 I suddenly feel really old. No longer able to stay up all night drinking with just a low grade hangover the following day. No longer able to survive, on cigarettes, coffee, Red Bull and pringles. Now I like to sleep in my own bed, eat good food, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
So tonight, I'm going to the pub, to smoke, drink many pints of Guinness and eventually get to bed and somewhere around four, having had the first of my birthday parties in the pub I live above. Many will be coming, from far and wide, there may even be karaoke, and, knowing Gabby (the landlord) we'll be there for a while. After bitching to a number of people and in a number of places how evil the Customer Services Manager is for not letting me have tomorrow (Saturday 14th) off to recover, she relented yesterday and said 'Fine', so after a brief journey to get a paper, I don't have to do anything too strenuous tomorrow.
Looking back on the year, it's been a good one. Still not sacked, woo-hoo. Been in this job for 15 months. Still keeping my eyes open for other things, but it pays the rent and most of my debts. Found a really interesting job in the Evening Standard last week. 'Secretarial Administrator at the House of Lords Library'. I'm definitely applying for that. Not just because it sounds interesting but so when people ask the girlf 'What does your boyfriend do?' she can say 'Oh, he works in the Lords'. That's cool.
Girlf is well and another good thing about this year. One week ago was our 6 month anniversary, forcing one of the girls I work with on a Saturday, who originally said 'I'll give it 6 months', to extend her estimate to a year. Little does she suspect I will make her eat her words. In fact, I might even write it down just so I can literally make her eat her words. That would be fun. The girlf is great, beautiful, clever and wonderfully ticklish. She is also starting to get used to being taken out to dinner once a month (even on my meagre salary) and is even getting used to me eating meat in front of her. If someone had told me last birthday I'd be dating a vegetarian and, what's more, enjoying it, I would have laughed in their face. Just goes to show.
Life creeps on in its petty pace from day to day, another day another dollar, another payday another drinking spree. Not much in the next week until next Saturday. My second Birthday Party at the Greencoat Boy in Victoria with all my Ship of Fools friends. If you're around, we'll be there from 7pm.
Servicing the locals 
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