By the Purveyors of new jam
Got a dilemma and can’t quite decide upon your viewpoint? Our guide to line drawing ™ could help. Just follow these simple steps:
Step 1: Choose your dilemma
Step 2: Take a pencil or pen and draw a line
Now stand back and survey your work. This is YOUR LINE, be careful of it.
Now you have your line you can experiment; step up to your line, take one
foot off the floor and see how far you can lean across the line without
hitting the other side. As long as you keep one foot on the right side you
are not violating the line. If you happen to fall over, don’t worry, the
line isn’t 3D so you could hardly help it, it’s also fine to get to the
other side by walking around either end of the line.
You could also experiment with moving the line, push it forwards then drag it back, or just leave it where it is, as long as you have a line it’s position isn’t important.
Remember, if it begins to get dark, the line becomes unimportant and can be ignored, this rule also applies to times when a rabbit enters the immediate area or if you just can’t be bothered to pay attention to the line anymore. Don’t forget that if you close your eyes the line obviously no longer exists, you can step wherever you like without causing harm. Most importantly it must be remembered that riding a bicycle along the line is perfectly acceptable, and welcome in many line drawing cultures.
So, at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter if you drew one or not, but if you did please send money to the Purveyors of new jam- I typed this up y’know- I had to cross a line to get to this keyboard…
If you need any practise with the concept of lines, David Walker has kindly provided us with a line, free of charge, from his site www.wibblethorpe.com (Dave hands over fiver).
Important Note: Line drawing is not just for fun- contact a qualified professional for advice.
Extra Important Note: Neglected or forgotten lines may wreak their revenge on their creator by constantly moving as people endeavour to step over them.
To comment on this article or receive advice on lines and where to draw them tootle over to the bulletin board ...or you can contact the Purveyors of new jam directly.